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I've been busy growing things...

Written July 13, 2015

We moved the end of May and after 3 weeks of hotels, we have been in our home for 3 weeks.  It has overall been fabulous!  My heart swells with gratitude as I watch the kids in their swirl of activity in the backyard throwing their souls into some "important" project each day.  It's equally full as I watch kids picking berries or wandering freely in the yard, simply taking in the bugs and plants around them.  The kids have freedom and space to play and imagine like never before and Mark and I both are thrilled that we can finally give them this!

The apricots are ripe!

Moving has brought up a lot of stuff I had no idea was there at all or still there.  I had looked in every nook and cranny of my stable life and surroundings in Idaho.  Being in a new place, there are new triggers to work through.  Moving in general has just brought up stuff too.  Moving can be challenging!  With that all being said, this has been a great opportunity for Mark and I to watch the team work in action that we have spent the past few years building.  We have communicated well overall and have made decisions totally united.  Last week with feeling more settled we realized our marriage has been the most neglected it has been for a really, really, really long time.  It has been good to re-commit and give it and each other more than just "left overs" at the end of the day--- to purposefully find ways to connect amidst the clamor and the yet to be unpacked-ness of this time and season of life.

Shipton harvesting. :)

I thought the wisdom in my focus being at home was short-term.  It was perfect to not be teaching or working with clients through the move.  Now I can see there is more.  Just like I shifted and held the space for Mark to shift, then WE held the space for our marriage to shift, our strong marriage needs to hold the space for our little ones to shift and heal.  I'm not sure how long that will need to be, but for sure the next little bit.  The freer my schedule, the more easily I parent consciously.  A dear friend likened healing to an onion.  You heal and sometimes think that was the bottom, when in all reality, it peeled back a layer.  With the deep healing we have allowed individually and a couple, it has peeled back the layer and The Spirit has suddenly opened our eyes to see clearly the next layer. 

Working with the snails to make an invitation list to Leland's bday party next month.  Oh these creative little souls!

Initially I was thinking it was the kids' to heal, but this weekend I saw a glimpse of Mark and my part in the how.  It's time to apply what we already know.  We are powerless to meet their needs.  We can point them to Christ and surrender them to Him.  What we can do it offer healing from the inside out. As we take that place of peace we have come to know well and beam it and project it outward, our little ones have the opportunity to accept it and resonate with it.

Shipton LOVES the swing, and of course, his Daddy too.  He stands at the back door with shoes in hand and pleads "wee, wee, wee?"  When it's time to go outside and fly.

Mark gave me a blessing a few days ago and he talked about how everything that I need will be called to my remembrance, specifically talking about where my thoughts have been resting with how to help my little ones soar.  There was an inspired talk in Sacrament that the Spirit whispered to me to remember what I have learned over the past few years of teaching Sunday School.  I was never the teacher.  He always was and the more closely I could follow the Spirit, the easier He could shine through with what was needed.  He is calling me to pass through further refinement---to live closer to the Spirit than I ever have before.  To parent carefully, which requires my consciousness and attentiveness.  Unlike a job I get to go home from at the end of the day, I am the main influence for these beautiful children literally all day and all night.  My words, my tone of voice, my interactions matter.  And just like with "teaching," I am not the teacher.  He is.  The more closely I follow the Spirit, the easier it is for Him to shine through me and to fill their voids.