The past few weeks...

It has been a long time since I have written.  It's a combination of several things.  We went to Idaho for a few days.  I expected to have time and access on our trip, but didn't.  Then I got out of the routine of daily writing.  Then since I was out of the routine there was so much to say and pictures to gather up from Mark's phone, my iPad, and the camera.  

On top of feeling overwhelmed to carve out time to catch up, our profile expired on adoption.com.  We have been deliberating about what to do from here.  For whatever reason that stirred up quite a bit of emotion for me.  I didn't expect a whole year to go by with no contacts.  As I mentioned previously, we had one "mom" reach out who was actually a scammer.  That is it.  I have wrestled with doubts and discouragements.  It has felt so vulnerable to open up and write and share, but still not be "the top pick."  As I have taken these concerns and frustrations to God, there has been the quiet reassurance that our birth mom will find us and that she will be attracted to us because of who we are.  So, I guess in summary, I've been overwhelmed and discouraged.:)  We still aren't sure about what we will do with adoption.com, but we will keep biniti up and I am happy to be back to writing.  Below is a major photo dump.  A few things that aren't pictured, but worth mentioning will be scattered in between the pictures below (unrelated to the pictures).

The kids were playing "airplane."  They asked for all the kitchen chairs down in the family room and set up all of the different parts for the pilot, movie, snacks, etc.  It shouldn't amaze me as much as it does, but it seems they will never run out of creative ideas.  Gavin is on the left, Leland is behind on the right, and Sennika is on the right.

Speaking of creative, here are Gavin and Sennika.  Gavin is using scraps of left over poster board  to design monsters complete with moving body parts (brads) and Sennika is putting an unusual piece of cardboard Dad brought home from work to good use.

~We had Stake Conference.  It was fabulous!  One of the last posts I wrote was about our struggles with reverence during Sacrament meeting.  Let me update you on our next Sunday experience.  We made the decision a few weeks ago to get Mark to the temple every week and for me to fall back to every other week.  With the weather warming up, we have also made the decision for me to play the organ in the temple every other week instead of every week.  I play for the 1 pm session, so it's right in the middle of our Saturday cutting up our day and making it difficult to do much before or after without having to stop to get ready in time.  With no temple for me, I was able to "guard" my Friday home efforts better and spent Saturday deep cleaning our home and connecting well with our children.  I usually sleep in on Sundays, but I got up early and was completely ready for the day before any of the children were awake.  Mark had an early meeting in connection with conference, but things still went smoothly at home.  Because I was up early, I was able to feed the kids as they woke up, then dress them after they finished.  I was amazed by how much more peaceful our home felt.  Since we had time to burn, we turned to lds.org.  I found this blog post that described my almost exact experience.  I am learning that the Sabbath isn't so much about a list of don't's, as much as it is about a day to rest from the busyness and daily demands...a chance to do it different with a different focus.  And, yes, they did awesome during conference.  With arriving early, they were happy for almost 2 1/2 hours!  Granted, it was in the morning, which I think it a factor, but I also know that my preparation and efforts brought a different spirit into our home which came with us to our meeting.~Between the adult meeting, Mark's priesthood leader meeting, and the general session, we felt so full!  Some reoccurring themes were about Sabbath day, God's miracles, and "putting away our swords" (Our Stake President talked about being humble rather than seeking to defend our pride and responding with anger).  This Stake is beginning to feel more and more like home.<3

On our trip to Idaho, Mark spent one day doing yard work with his parents on one of their rental homes. 

Daddy out mowing the lawn.  If you look closely behind him, you will be able to detect his little shadow, Leland.  All morning long while Mark was out doing yard work, Leland followed closely behind.  He helped him trim trees and mow the grass.  It was pretty cute.

This was from a few months ago, but here is Dad up on the roof.  Le took this picture of Mark while he cleaned out the rain gutters.  

~I also "graduated" from nursery.  The new call came suddenly and I was extended it during nursery the Sunday before conference and told that would be my last day in nursery because of being needed elsewhere.  I need to get some little thank you's out to my little nursery ones!  I am grateful for all I have learned in this almost past year and for these darling children who have loved me without condition.  My heart burst with joy as I turned my time and attention to my new calling and preparing for my first day serving.  I am the new Primary Chorister.  These children have had such a huge turn-over the past 6 months with choristers.  Last fall the chorister suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  It took several months for another to be called and after only a few months in the call she suddenly moved.  They have had a sub for about another month or so.  They need someone who will be constant for them.  I am grateful to do that for them.  Can you imagine how awesome my b-day party will be next year?! :)  I forgot to get set apart on Sunday, but I keep reflecting on my setting apart for nursery and how Brother Merrit said, "God knows you love the gospel and that you love children."  It is so true!  It's amazing to watch how God can take the same set of core abilities and gifts of the Spirit and continue to mix and match them in miraculous ways, expand and add to them, and fill in all the details so I am able to serve Him well.  I reflect on my years of studying music and that because of the time and effort, the technicalities of music will not get in the way for me to serve in this calling.  I consider on my time teaching gospel doctrine and how I feel so at home teaching pure doctrine. 

~As I have been prayerful these past few weeks, I can already see two things He wants me to learn and pass on to these amazing children.  The first is love.  It is a continuation of what He has been teaching me in my home: to "own" my own "stuff," so I can be neutral without bringing my own stuff into situations with others.  That as I give Him my stuff, He can fill me with love and I can respond from a place of love.  As we were singing together Sunday and I looked into their bright and eager faces, I can already feel that love swelling in my heart and growing for these sweet children.  The other thing I will learn and pass on is reverence.  This must start with my own reverence, which for me includes being consistent in having quiet and uninterrupted time each day to connect with God and to tune into myself.  He has shown me clearly that I will pass this on to the children by focusing on teaching them the music rather than focusing on "entertaining" them, as may seem so tempting.  He has helped me come to understand the importance of formal time and coming with a powerful Spirit on Sunday so they can share in that and know how special Sunday is.

At the dinosaur park inside a fossil cave.  Sennika on the right, then heading farther back are Leland, then Shipton, then Gavin.

Shipton playing on the playground at the Dinosaur park.  

Mark introduced Gavin to a board game called Stratego.  He has enjoyed the strategy part of the game.

~Mother's day was a jumble of emotions.  Mark and the kids were darling and went above and beyond with gifts, breakfast and other meals, and thoughtfulness.  The Spirit also directed me in specific ways to reach out to other women who needed encouragement and gratitude on Mother's day.  I am so honored to be the mother of these beautiful children, yet it tugs at my heart with all the unknowns that have been stirred lately.  Are these our all of our children?  Are we really done?  Will adoption really happen?  These question were encapsulated in guilt because 1. we have already been blessed with more children than many of whom we are painfully aware of, so it is "greedy" for us to want more (true, but twisted and tainted with half-truth).  2.  I can't handle the children I already have I am obviously screwing them completely up (lie, but some truths that yes, I am human and yes, I have made mistakes and I am continuing to learn every day). I finally asked for a blessing Sunday night and I am grateful for the reset.  A few things he said worth mentioning: he told me to cast out these lies and allow them no place within me.  (I got on my knees and tearfully did as commanded after the blessing and could see more clearly).  He also said that when my cup is full I am a powerfully instrument for God and blessed me to be aware of myself in those times when I need to stop and care for myself.  Monday morning I was up at 5:30 and just like Sunday had all of my needs taken care of and was filled with a reserve as I greeted my waking children.  I am learning so much each day and I am grateful for a loving God who is orchestrating experiences to help me learn from day to day.  I am still so human and growing each day, He and I both have learned that I won't wander too far any more.

While in Idaho, the kids and I went to my parents' house.  Here is Shipton playing with Grandma.

Here is Shipton playing with Grandpa (and Sennika watching).

Leland making pumpkin pancakes.

Mommy holding sleeping Shipton.

Mom and Shipton at the train museum.

Leland on the left and Shipton on the right.  Shipton was mad that the cookies weren't instantly baked. :)  We were trying out our new oven.  The other one was caught on a clean/broil cycle.  A guess a couple telling things about us reflected int his recent purchase: it took team work.  I was without an oven/stove for about a week before the repair man came, told us the problem, and hit reset on it.  Thankfully it was still under warranty from purchasing the home, so we had two options.  He could either repair it or cut a check for the cost of the repair we could put towards a new one.  We took the second and continued to use it until it happened again.  At that point I was back to crock pot, microwave, and grill cooking for about a week as Mark shopped around.  Because we could pay in cash and asked for a floor model plus found one on sale, we were able to get a pretty sweet deal on it.  It is the only stainless steel appliance in the kitchen at this point, but we will continue to upgrade as we are able/need to.  That's how we roll.  We don't have credit cards.  We are completely debt free with plenty of savings.  I am grateful for a spouse who sees money in similar ways as I do.  We are both willing to make trade-offs or wait or save up and I love that about Mark.

I think because of all the Lego ninjago books he has been reading he has ninjas on his mind more than usual.  Without saying anything he found his Halloween ninja costume and has been wearing it for part of the day most days.  (This is Gavin...I mean master Gavin).

I snapped this picture of Gavin (left), Sennika, and Leland (right) playing "cavemen."  They came in for lunch as asked for "meat."

These two ask for me to read Harry Potter in any spare moment.  

After his enjoyment of the Lego ninja books from the book fair, we invested in a set of about a dozen more chapter books. His upcoming curriculum only has about 3 chapter books to read for the year.  Where Sennika reads on her own every day, I haven't had to plan anything.  It's been wonderful to watch him reading throughout the day now.

Shipton playing mouse trap with Mark.

Shipton has been climbing up to the piano lately unannounced and playing the piano.  He sings along with his own words. One day he was singing about "Jesus suffered."  I was surprised and impressed.

Another Shipton picture.  This is one of his favorite places in the house and hands down his favorite snack or eating spot.

Shipton. <3

The kids planned a soccer game.  Left to right: Gavin, Leland (behind), Shipton (front), Sennika, and Dad on the ground.  They even planned concessions and made stadium seating for Mom to cheer from.

And here is Shipton managing the "mascots" they brought out for the game.

Shipton with some of our growing sprouts for the garden.

With the weather warming up, we have been going for family walks usually 2 or so times a week.  Mark and I have enjoyed the quality time to be with the kids plus we love that they sleep in later the next morning. :)  Seems to wear them out.  The kids seem to like this special time too and look forward to our announcement of "let's go on a walk."  This family walk ended up including Frosties at Wendy's.

Shipton and Mom watching for the trains.

This family walk took us past the temple.

Dad and the kids.

Here are all four kids reading together.  Gavin had taken a favorite book and was reading it, but changing up some of the words.  They huddled like this for a good half hour.  Going clockwise and starting at "12" is Gavin, Shipton, Leland, then Sennika is leaning off the bed.

More train museum

This is a favorite part of the train museum.  They have model trains that drive through these window displays.  The kids love chasing after them and following them until they hit tunnels.

Smelly-vision

Here is Sennika with her doll, Michelle, and some lilacs from our back yard.

I don't know if it is helpful to you to have meaningful posts side-by-side with meaningless posts.  As I have described before, that is how my days as a mom are: moments of great importance sprinkled in with the seemingly meaningless.  

I wish it was possible to attach smell to a post...that smelly-vision were a reality!:)  It has been a glorious time to be a home-owner with our own yard this year.  I pull into the drive way and the fragrance seeps into the car to welcome me home.  When we moved in the lilac "bushes" were about 12 feet high, and like all of the other plants in our yard, needed a good trimming back.  As we weighed how best to go about the needed cutting back, we opted to whack them short, then shape them as they grew back over the next several years.  We cut half the bushes in the fall and got most of the other half finished while they were still dormant early this spring.  I lopped the branches thin enough and left the thick ones for Mark to get to with his saw.  One lone branch was left towering on a bush awaiting Mark.  It was left long enough that it began to bud and blossom.  I am so happy we let it grow, even though it may have appeared very red-neck to the neighbors.  Lilacs are my favorite flower.  Within about five minutes of bringing this bouquet inside, it's fragrance had filled the house. Although I am very inexperienced in caring for a yard, it brings back fond memories of my growing up with my home on a full acre in the country.  I watch Sennika from the window singing to herself and wandering around the yard taking in the wonders of God's hand-work and the world in full spring bloom.  

Waiting Patiently Upon The Lord And Trusting Him...

Written Oct 6, 2013.  This post gives more insight into some of the details we have struggled with in growing our family. There is yet more past this post that I will share tomorrow.  It's interesting to go back and read it today, having different application. We are learning to wait patiently and trust in the Lord one more time as we are seeking to grow our family once again.

Caption for above picture: We are thrilled to share here that this is my "baby bump" as of a few weeks ago. I am currently in the second trimester of a healthy pregnancy. WHAHOO!!!

I want to share the process we have gone through to be to this point. My hope is this will be read by those with whom it resonates---That it will bring hope to those who feel their answer is to keep trying and to continue to wait patiently upon the Lord.

More than anything, I hope that those who read this can trust.

If the answer is that it's still time to act, then trust that He is preparing the path before you...even if it appears that there is no path before you right now. My experience has taught me that He will prepare a way when there is none. Trust Him.

That if the answer is that it's time to be still whether that be a "no" or a "not yet," that you can trust that all is well. That He has a plan and will use you to build up His kingdom where He needs you the most. Trust Him.
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We were blessed with 2 beautiful babies, followed by a miscarriage, and then our third son, our miracle baby. We have been trying for an other little one for 2 1/2 years and have lost 3 more pregnancies in that time. I shared our most recent loss from February of this year in the previous post below.

After taking time to begin to recover physically and continuing to heal emotionally, I was ready to at least ask God if we were done having little ones. I had it confirmed that we would try again. As we prayed as a couple, we knew strongly that to be the case, but didn't know details yet. We both also felt strongly that there would be more information and changes to be made to be able to have a healthy pregnancy. I am young. Believe it or not, I am still in my 20's...LATE...but 20's nonetheless.:) We recognized that although it wouldn't have been what we would have chosen, even waiting 5 years or 10 years, I would still be in my childbearing years.

So we kept this in our hearts and we waited.

At times we heard outside voices that vocally expressed opposition to us trying again. The thought of being done because we have given it our "best shot" has felt unsettling and confusing. Taking steps to make change, then in the Lord's time trying again has brought peace.

After a few months of this continued reassurance, Mark gave me a blessing. He talked about how the desires of my heart are what Heavenly Father would have me pursue. The path is not an impossible path. I must be patient, but He would prepare the way.

In June, we read an article that was published in the Aug 1979 Ensign entitled "I Have a Question." by Dr. Homer Ellsworth. I strongly recommend reading the entire article. It is very balanced. It gave us the reassurance to step forward with courage. One paragraph in particular was an answer to what we had been feeling:
"I recall a President of the Church, now deceased, who visited his daughter in the hospital following a miscarriage. She was the mother of eight children and was in her early forties. She asked, 'Father, may I quit now?' His response was, 'Don't ask me. That decision is between you, your husband, and your Father in Heaven. If you two can face him with a good conscience and can say you have done the best you could, that you have really tried, then you may quite. But, that is between you and Him. I have enough problems of my own to talk over with him when we meet!' So it is clear to me that the decisions regarding our children, when to have them, the number, and all related matters and questions can only be made after real discussion between the marriage partners and after prayer."

We knew we were not yet to a point that we could look Him straight in the eye and say we exhausted all of our resources, especially with the answer that had been confirmed several times that we needed to try again. This was our answer. I love that in the article the Dr. never says whether or not the mom tried again. I truly believe his conclusion that [these] "matters and questions can only be made after real discussion between the marriage partners and after prayer," would therefore be unique to each couple. We know families are central to Heavenly Father's plan and rather than seeking to excuse ourselves, we (as a couple) needed to figure out how to include ourselves in bearing & rearing more little ones.  Reading this article together called us to action. We began to pray to be lead to find the answers we needed.

Our OB had offered for us to consult with a Reproductive Endocrinologist about a month after we lost the twins. I had initially set the appointment, but once I was going through the tedious process to fill out history information for the office and spending time on their website, it just didn't feel like the right fit. I am sure their office is able to help many women, it just didn't feel to be the place we would find our help. I cancelled the appointment and began seeking for the right direction.

I began to look more closely at the miscarriage history. All of my babies either stopped growing or I lost them at week 6. As I began thinking about what was happening at that time, baby is beginning to rely on the placenta. I found that interesting in considering the prenatal history with the miscarriages. If either the placentas were not attaching properly or blood clots were inhibiting blood flow, then the miscarriages and pregnancies could all be related. I had not considered that before.

I had an interview with a potential doula client. Within a week after the interview, out of the blue I felt very strongly to get more information about her health care provider. He specializes in high-risk pregnancy. She has struggled with infertility and I felt an urgency to find out if her current OB helped her with that or referred her to another office. I called her back and she said he helped her with it. It felt right to call their office and meet with him.

He was kind and knowledgeable. He recommend aspirin, heparin (blood thinners), Progesterone, and high Folic Acid after discussing the placenta pulling away during my boys' pregnancies and the miscarriages.

Having a more holistic approach and realizing that there are usually alternatives to a medical intervention, I posed my history on an International Herb Group. Most people said things like "she's already 'overpopulated' the earth with 3 kids," :) or "she should just call it quits." There were a few who replied and I was intrigued that not a single one came back with an herb recommendation or any other holistic approach. Every single one came back with heparin and aspirin. Two sited a genetic mutation called MTHFR.

I was intrigued as I researched about it. We knew blood clots had caused the placentas to pull away, but we didn't know what caused the blood clots. During my last baby's pregnancy, I had 10 vials of blood drawn and it was tested for "clotting disorders." Everything came back negative, which is such a relief, yet at the same time left it up in the air. From a medical standpoint I had exhausted all of my resources to finding a reason for the abruptions of the placentas. My intuition knew that wasn't the case. That the thought of "that must just be how my pregnancies go" did not feel true.

Through Hypnobabies, I found the Brewer Diet, and specifically how low protein can cause blood clots, leading to placental abruption. That resonated truth! We took about 6 months to revamp our family's diet and even hired a dietitian to help in the process. I had kept to the Brewer Diet faithfully with the past three pregnancies we have lost. When we lost the twins, I knew there had to be something more.

I felt confirmed that this was the case and MTHFR was very possible. I gathered my information and made an appointment with my OB. One thing I really love about him is that he is not intimidated by a Mom who takes charge of her health care. He has always been easy to approach and I love that we can talk openly and back and forth until we come to conclusions that we are both in agreement with and both on the same page. I told him I was there to consult with him about the possibility of the pregnancies and the miscarriages actually being related. I wanted to know what he knew about MTHFR and if he felt heparin would be too aggressive in a future pregnancy.

HIS FACE LIT UP! He told me he had been doing a residency with an OB who specialized in genetics at the time MTHFR was discovered. He has kept up to date with the research as it has emerged and changed since that time. We had discussed testing with our insurance prior to the appointment. Although a simple blood test, it falls under genetic testing. It would therefore be an out-of-pocket lab for several hundred dollars. My OB has seen a lot of false positives. There are two versions of MTHFR: a "bad" one and a "worse" one. Women can have one version and be completely asymptomatic. The versions can also be mixed-and-matched where we inherit two sets of DNA, one from each parent. He felt that it would not be worth testing for where treatment would not change regardless of a positive or a negative with the history of pregnancies and miscarriages. Another thing I love about my OB is that he is conservative (but he has also made sure to jump in and take timely action at needed times as well). He said that heparin seemed too aggressive. Where I have carried 3 babies to full term, he would be surprised if I had the "worse" strain.

He felt that a daily baby aspirin would be the best choice. Also in my research I found those with MTHFR are unable to break down an amino acid (see...could be indirectly related to inadequate protein, eh?). This leads to a build up that blocks the body from being able to absorb folic acid. We discussed my increasing the intake of folic acid, upping the amount available in the bloodstream, in hopes leading to adequate levels being absorbed. I also felt very strongly to bring up Progesterone. We had not tested my hormone levels at all. He talked about the double-blinded studies coming back with no changes as far as fetal outcomes to those who added Progesterone vs those who didn't. He gave his "blessing" to do Progesterone if I chose.

Although a brief consult, it was very productive. :) At this point, I felt to ask his opinion on the only remaining question: was there any reason to delay pregnancy? He said no and gave the green light to go ahead when we were ready. He would be there to support us.

As we discussed the research and opinions of the OB, and prayed as couple, we felt confirmed that this was the course to take. We had been blessed with answers in such a short time. They came so quickly that we needed to run to keep up! Now it was time to act.

Another tender mercy, I had tried to get in with a nature path several month previous. They usually book about 3 months out. I was put on a call list and received a call the week of ovulation that they had a cancellation for the following day. I was able to have a wonderful appointment. We discovered my Progesterone actually was low and I've been taking drops ever since. My body called for help with digestion in general, as well as protein specifically. I have been taking digestive enzymes to help with that, as well as one that helps with blood clotting. Interesting to have seen the same findings.

Now on a side note of being holistic. I took the Soul Mate Practitioner's course from the founder of Thetahealing this summer. In the training she said something that really resonated with me. She talked about how although we believe in alternative medicine, we also believe in doctors. She said she goes to the Dr. It has been amazing what I have been able to do for myself and my family in the past few years with a holistic approach. Even just focusing on prevention alone has changed our healthcare. It has been a blessing to be able to dig and figure out what the body is calling for by sending "messages" of being off balance with illness or ailments. I have been aware, without completely realizing about MTHFR that my body has had issues with digesting and breaking down proteins. I am actually pretty sure I may have even cleared the MTHFR after we lost the twins. I know, I know...another post for another day. So why are we choosing this course if we have the tools at our fingertips? Because it feels right! Just as I would ask a client to seek medical care for illness or cancer, etc. we are covering our bases and feel balanced in the decision to do all we can in our power and act conservatively for our little one.

So, basically you can probably guess how the story ends. :) We have been blessed with fertility and have literally been able to "pick our month" with all 8 of our pregnancies. We conceived easily and knew within a few days that I was carrying a little one.

I cannot tell you the tears of joy and the dancing upon the positive pregnancy test! The pride and enthusiasm of the kids! Our humble gratitude as a couple. And oh the thrill to see our little one on ultrasound! WITH A HEARTBEAT for the first time in years. My daughter was able to come to the appointment with me and hear little eyes welled up with tears and she excitedly said, "I AM SO HAPPY!"

Everything looked fantastic on ultrasound. We came on the early side and our OB offered another ultrasound in 2 weeks solely for emotional reassurance. Although my views of ultrasound have changed from the past, I needed that reassurance to be able to see my baby once again and have my eyes and mind confirm what my heart already knew: that all is well. This time my oldest son was able to be there and proudly held the strip of pictures of "his" baby, grinning ear to ear.

Now being in the second trimester and even feeling the baby move, we feel confident that this pregnancy is going to be normal and low risk and healthy.

As I look back at the journey of the past few years, it really feels like I just blinked and here we are. Yes I remember we struggled and the losses hurt. Yes I remember holding other people's babies and literally just sobbing. Yes I remember the ache of feeling empty-armed, of feeling happy for those around me who announce a pregnancy yet feeling a tug at my heart that it wasn't me. Yes. I remember. I have been grateful for the experiences for so many reasons. Each loss taught me something and gave me another piece of the puzzle. With each loss we have made a change or changes to be an even better candidate the next pregnancy.

But here I am now with a full womb once again. My empty arms soon to be filled again. My aching heart healing.

 God is so good! 

Alma 26: 11, 12, 16, 35, "I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever. Therefore, let us glory, yea, we will glory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel... Now have we not reason to rejoice?"

Trust Him! Trust that He truly is aware of your individual circumstances. He knows the path for you and can see it all clearly from start to finish. As we place our hand in His, we can find peace and comfort despite the current place in our journey we may be.

"For This Child I Prayed; And The Lord Hath Given Me My Petition Which I Asked Of Him"

WRITTEN JUNE 17, 2014

...(1 Samuel 1:27) AKA Waiting Patiently Upon the Lord and Trusting Him: Reprise!

re·prise

riˈprēz/Submit
noun
noun: reprise; plural noun: reprises
1.
a repeated passage in music.
a repetition or further performance of something.
"a reprise of his earlier performance"

I recently realized that this post is long over-due. Part of the lateness has come from my arms being full and adjusting to my "new normal" life with four busy children and all that entails. The other part for the delay is that I have been processing. Tonight is the night and I am excited to have a few minutes to sit down and write as I feed my baby.

I love having another opportunity to praise His name! Do you realize how awesome Heavenly Father is?! It has really sunk in on new levels the past 3 months of enjoying this beautiful baby! I have learned in new ways just how good God really is and how anxious He is to answer our prayers and to give us the desires of our hearts!

The abridged version for any unfamiliar with our journey: Bubble of Peace for any Hypnobabies Mama's. We had our daughter smoothly. Our first son's pregnancy became a "special attention pregnancy" when part of the placenta pulled away. All ended well with a healthy, full-term baby. We had a miscarriage followed by our second son's pregnancy. His pregnancy repeated our first son's pregnancy challenges and outcome.

We began searching for answers with no leads from a medical standpoint, but we were lead to consider a healthier diet and means to curb the nausea and vomiting to keep that diet down. :) We also used energy work, essential oils with the goal to be the best candidate for pregnancy possible. During this time of searching, we had 3 more miscarriages, including a set of twins. This brought our total of angel babies to 5.

After we lost the twins, we knew there was still something we were missing. I wrote in the post "Waiting Patiently Upon the Lord..." where I talked about the process of prayerfully partnering with God as a couple. As we prayed, we knew we were to have more little ones. As we brought our obstacle before Him, He showed us the way He had already prepared, but was waiting for us to seek the answers to. Although I feel strongly it was a combination of many things that needed to be squared away, it was a tiny pill that cost us only a few dollars the entire pregnancy that was missing. Adding baby aspirin to the mix was the addition we would not have considered on our own.

During our pregnancy we had our doubts about what the outcome would actually be. Shipton's pregnancy also became a "special attention pregnancy" for a few months as we thought we had a repeat of placenta troubles. Nope. As saddened as we were, it was the loss of yet another angel baby, nothing placenta related. Heavenly Father and His angels watched over little Shipton and brought him safely into our arms.

Gazing into the eyes of our perfect baby, I keep asking myself, "what if we didn't ask?!" "What if we had assumed that I couldn't carry a baby again or hold a pregnancy with the placenta staying put?" "What if we were not living in a way that we could hear the Holy Spirit guide our individual circumstances?" "What if we didn't have the courage to follow those answers?"

 I know every situation is different. Sometimes what God wants for us and what we want or when we want it are not the same. This can hurt deeply, especially when we have righteous desires. We understand well some of the feelings that may accompany such heart-ache and confusion.

We also can speak boldly that He knows each of us individually. He cares about our lives and the obstacles we are facing. He knows when we are using our agency to be "acted upon" and those times we truly can "act," even if that only action is through prayer. I have been surprised to see how many situations in my life that I thought were stuck actually were only that way because of me. I used to assume that my life was going how it should be because otherwise God would have it go differently. "God" was calling me to suffer to go through difficulties because that was the only logical answer. Yes, He does intervene in our lives; however, I have begun to see first-hand how often my agency and choices were creating the challenges I was completely attributing to Him.

Just as with other times in my life, and especially in the miracle of childbearing, He made a way when there seemingly was none. I am humbled to stand witness of His goodness and mercy!

I join with Hannah in singing praises to His name!

Faith Unto Miracles: Closer to Bringing Baby into our Arms...

This was written May 5, 2015

It sounds like we are making it up, but we really aren't. To catch up on the early miracles if you have missed them, rejoice with us HERE. All we can say is none of it has been our doing. Yes we have been the instruments…the body who cleaned under all the beds and in closets…the one who organized and cleaned our home to prepare for listing it for sale. Yes I was the body that listed the home online, took pictures, printed flyers, created and sent off to the printer lawn signs, etc. ,etc…. Yes I have done a lot of things as an instrument; however, this is all to God’s credit. Neither Mark nor I can take any acknowledgement for the miracles nor the strength He has filled us with. I’m not sure how to adequately describe what we have experienced the past few months. We have almost been the shell that did it, but with His orchestrating the details perfectly and carrying us the entire way. He has wonderful blessings to bestow and we simply got out of they way. Even then, He has carried us to remove the blocks on our end that would have previously prevented such great blessings from actualizing.

For all the inquiring minds, here is a status update for our family:

I felt frustrated that it was taking “so long” to list the our home for sale. We had known for almost 3 weeks, although we hadn't publicly shared that early. I felt like I was spinning my wheels and no matter how hard I pushed, I just couldn't get things together long enough to get our home organized, let alone pictures taken to create flyers and list it. In a moment of clarity, the Spirit whispered that the timing was important. Yes I needed to do all I could, but I would be able to list it on the perfect day, at the perfect time. I felt like we would never make it, then BAM, one night Mark and I were able to finalize the organizing and cleaning, snapped pictures before the kids woke up to live in the house again J, and created the flyers and online listing. I had picked up the lawn signs several days previously.

WITHIN HOURS of placing the lawn signs in front of the house, our buyer found us as he "happened" to drive on our street. I am not exaggerating! Within 24 hours of touring it, he made us an offer for our full asking price in cash. He is covering closing costs. In exchange for us giving up the garage for his uhaul coming to town with his possessions, he is giving us free rent for May. WHAT?! The more I mulled this miracle over in my mind and began to comprehend it as reality, the more I couldn't help ask myself, why not? Why not? God is great! Why not?  

We officially closed today and no longer own a home in Rexburg. Check.

As far as on the Utah side, we have begun the process of closing on our new home. It is in Brigham City and is a beautiful home for us to grow into with a fabulous yard and garden. We hear the neighborhood is amazing. We are thrilled! Finding our home stretched us uncomfortably mentally and emotionally at times in the past several weeks; however, so far things have gone quickly and smoothly in moving forward with this specific home. We will let you know when we have more to share. Check. 

We have been blessed with a relocation package for this promotion. We will use part of it to hire a moving company to pack us up and move us. We have gotten over the belief that we aren't “To-Do enough” or our furniture isn't “nice enough” and will gladly accept the extra time it will mean to parent our little ones differently through this time of transition. I will wait a few more weeks then deep clean one or two things a day until the move, then just go over walls, baseboards, and floors one last time as we scoot out the door, followed by touch-up paint while littles are unavailable to “re-kid” it. Check.

AS FAR AS ADOPTION GOES, OUR PROFILE WENT LIVE LAST NIGHT! We have completed all necessary steps to qualify to welcome our little one. We will do a simple home-study update once we get to UT, but in the mean-time, we expect baby any time from now on. This is it! Our profile is HERE. Please share as you feel inspired. We look forward to watching the continued miracles unfold in our baby’s arrival to our family.

I read this yesterday and shared it with Mark. We both agree that on a smaller scale, yet still very important and real to us, it is exactly what we have experienced. As we felt the willingness to invite another baby into our home burn within us, we didn't know HOW it would happen. Our prayers of faith granted a miracle and as we then accepted the promotion that would fund our new addition, we couldn't see how we would get it all done and make it from Idaho to Utah. The path has become clear as we have stepped forward in faith. God is so good!

“It takes faith--unseeing faith--for young people to proceed immediately with their family responsibilities in the face of financial uncertainties. It takes faith for the young woman to bear her family instead of accepting employment, especially when schooling for the young husband is to be finished. It takes faith to observe the Sabbath when ‘time and a half’ can be had working, when sales can be made, when merchandise can be sold. It takes a great faith to pay tithes when funds are scarce and demands are great. It takes faith to fast and have family prayers and to observe the Word of Wisdom. It takes faith to do ward teaching, stake missionary work, and other service, when sacrifice is required. It takes faith to fill foreign missions. But know this--that all these are of the planting, while faithful devout families, spiritual security, peace, and eternal life are the harvests.

Remember that Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and others could not see clearly the end from the beginning. They also walked by faith and without sight. Remember again that no gates were open; Laban was not drunk; and no earthly hope was justified at the moment Nephi exercised his faith and set out finally to get the plates. No asbestos clothes or other ordinary protective devices were in the fiery furnace to protect the three Hebrews from death; there were no leather nor metal muzzles for the mouths of the lions when Daniel was locked in the den.

Remember that there were no clouds in the sky nor any hydrometer in his hand when Elijah promised an immediate break in the long extended drouth; though Joshua may have witnessed the miracle of the Red Sea, yet how could he by mortal means perceive that the flooding Jordan would back up for the exact time needed for the crossing, and then flow on its way to the Dead Sea.

Remember that there were no clouds in the sky, no evidence of rain, and no precedent for the deluge when Noah builded the ark according to commandment. There was no ram in the thicket when Isaac and his father left for Moriah for the sacrifice. Remember there were no towns and cities, no farms and gardens, no homes and storehouses, no blossoming desert in Utah when the persecuted pioneers crossed the plains. And remember that there were no heavenly beings in Palmyra, on the Susquehanna or on Cumorah when the soul-hungry Joseph slipped quietly into the Grove, knelt in prayer on the river bank, and climbed the slopes of the sacred hill.

But know this: that undaunted faith can stop the mouths of lions, make ineffective the fiery flames, make dry corridors through beds of rivers and seas. Unwavering faith can protect against deluge, terminate drouths, heal the sick, and bring heavenly manifestations. Indomitable faith can help us live the commandments and thereby bring blessings unnumbered with peace, perfection, and exaltation in the kingdom of God” (Spencer W. Kimball, in Conference Report, Oct. 1952, 50–51).

Easter Weekend...

One picture doesn't do justice for our weekend!  Here is one of my many favorites.  It's of Mark taking the kids out to fly their kites. I love that he is such an active Daddy when it comes to his interactions with the kids.  

Written Mar 28, 2016

Other highlights of the weekend were dying Easter eggs.  This year the three oldest were big enough to really put some effort and thought into how they wanted them to turn out.  When they had dyed all of the boiled eggs, they dyed eggs that Daddy graciously blew hollow once dry.  I think I have been through too much morning sickness or something, but that shows the depths of his love to be willing to blow out four. :p

Although not Easter related directly, Sennika and I were able to attend the General Women's Meeting in SLC in person.  It was a power-filled meeting and it's been joyful to have her at my side the past two meetings.  She kept commenting with awe, "This is the most girls I have ever been with at one time in my entire life." :)

We also do a special Easter devotional on Easter Sunday.  We have plastic eggs filled with Easter songs written on slips of paper.  This year we also watched the movie clip depicting Palm Sunday through the Resurrection.  I love the opportunity it gives us to also bear our testimonies of the reality of Jesus Christ and of God's perfect plan to save and exalt His children because of Christ.  It's fun to do these traditions each year and often it shows clearly how much our children have grown.  This was also a completely different experience from last year because they actually knew most of the songs and sang their little hearts out with us.

We had a wonderful experience in our church services, including Gavin participating with a children's choir (oh he was cute singing at the top of his lungs) and Mark getting to teach the Elder's Quorum about the necessity and strength of women. We came home to throw together the final preparations for our yummy ham dinner.  I think the big kids had at least fourths and kept coming back for more until bed time.  Shipton seemed too full from nursery snacks to fully enjoy it. :)

We are grateful for the opportunities of this weekend to gather our children around us and to teach them and enjoy the excitement and wonder together.  We are grateful for a Savior who has gone below all things and has carried us through the times of darkness and difficulty.  We rejoice to know of God's plan, and especially that it includes the possibility of eternal families!  I will praise His name and praise it again for all He has done for me personally and for my family!  Hallelujah seems inadequate, but that is the closest I can come to shouting the joy of my heart!

Happy Birthday Little Guy!

Written April 5, 2016:  As I have cherished and pondered on the events leading up to and of Shipton's birth, here at the two year point I am still processing.  The prompting we had for setting up a connecting birth experience has made more sense.  What a beautiful birthing time it was for our whole family!  As we have considered on all he brings into our family, we are overwhelmed with gratitude.  Gratitude that we were given and took courage to try again after so much loss.  Gratitude for God in the details of his safe arrival.  Grateful for another child to love and guide and all we have learned and will continue to learn by being his parents.  My patriarchal blessing talks about how most of the time I will be able to see the wonder of God and His love for His children.  I am humbled to have witnessed so many miracles in my life. I stand as a living witness of the wonder of God and His love and awareness of all of his children and their individual circumstances. There is no other way to explain this child.  From the moment he was even considered a possibility, God has been in the details orchestrating miracles. My words are inadequate to express my deepest feelings about this wonderful child God has entrusted into our care and the miraculous events that have surrounded our experiences with him. We love him dearly and are humbled to treasure up the miraculous details of his little life.

Shipton's birth story was written April 10, 2014.  

For the next week and a half after the "dress rehearsal" pressure waves(contractions) and cramping would come and go.  I usually had an hour or two throughout the day where I had pressure waves every 7-10 min apart.  Every night around 10 or 11 they would come and I would fall asleep to them, but wake up still pregnant.  I knew Shipton would come when he was ready and I was confident that my body was getting ready for birthing time.



For our Tuesday night Yoga class, I taught a meditation with the mantra "Aad Such Jugaad Such Hai Bhee Such" and I found a beautiful arrangement HERE.  It is for getting stuck things flowing.  With my birthing time in mind, I played it most of the day over and over Wednesday.  I also had a thought.  I had pre-designed Shipton's birth announcement.  I had put in March dates, over 9 lbs for weight, and the middle of the night.  Those were all things I was expecting.  I felt like I should take off those items and leave them blank.  It sounds funny, but it felt like one last way to release anything emotional that may be holding things off on my end.  Shipton was ready.  He had dropped 2 weeks previous and was in the best position for birthing time (with his head down, facing my back, and on the left side of my belly).

Wednesday night, my regular pressure waves came a bit earlier than normal.  They stayed the entire night.  I am a deep sleeper, so was able to sleep through most of them.  When I woke up Thursday, they were continuing 7-10 min apart.  As I went throughout my day Thursday, they stayed.  I listened to the "Birthing Day Affirmations" and more of "Come OUT Baby."  Mostly I just continued about my day and usual activities, but I used my Hypnobabies finger drop and would "shut off" for the pressure wave, then count myself back up to "center" in between.  It worked very well for me, but was a bit funny at times with the kids.  One came at the dinner table and our 5-year-old asked, "what happened to mom?"

HYPNOBABIES NOTE:  Unique to Hypnobabies is "Eyes Open Childbirth Hypnosis."  Our moms are able to walk, talk, reposition, move around, etc.  while still remaining deeply in hypnosis and relaxation by using the "center switch."  We can also shut "off" and go completely limb and loose and shut off every muscle and part of our body not required for continued function.  Involuntary functions such as heart beating, breathing, etc. continue, but  mom is unable to move in the "off" position.  If she needs to speak or move, etc. she simply turns her switch to "center" and has complete control over this process.

I was expecting the pressure waves to stop during the night...but they didn't.  They were actually coming strong enough that most of them woke me up throughout the night.  As I woke up Friday, they felt different.  They were still 7-10 minutes apart, but they felt stronger and more focused in my cervix.  I also had pink bloody show.  I texted the midwife and let her know, but that it wasn't for sure today yet.  I went to my chiropractor appointment (that may have helped) and also a choir rehearsal as pressure waves continued 7-10 min apart.  



We reached the not so fun point of needing to decide whether or not to send Mark to work (he works afternoons-nights).  Pressure waves were strong, but still 7-10 min apart.  We decided to send him with the agreement that he would tie up any loose ends and be available to come home if I needed him.

Listening to Hypnobabies tracks

Pressure waves continued, but were 5 min apart.  I had the kids watch a movie and after the movie was ready for my husband to come back home and to bring dinner.  It took him some time to come back home.  After having pressure waves 5 min apart for 2 hours, they spaced back out to 7-10, but were staying strong.  It was almost bed time and looking back, I think my body knew it needed to wait until after getting kiddos tucked into bed.  We decided this could possibly be early birthing time and to get things set up, the kids to bed, then "hunker down" in our birth nest to see if that would help pressure waves get closer together.

I put our 3-year-old down to bed while my husband worked with the older two.  They helped him inflate the tub and prepare a few things.  We tucked them in and while my hubby started to fill the pool I alternated between "Come OUT Baby" and "Birthing Day Affirmations" while continuing my finger drop technique.  After an hour, pressure waves stayed at 7-10 min apart.  Where I had missed 2 nights of normal rest, we decided to lay down and see if that would bring pressure waves closer together.  My husband was a good sport.  I was worried that moving upstairs to bed would space things back out, so we laid down on the floor with the Hypnobabies "Birthing Day Affirmations" playing out loud and "slept" for an hour.

My husband slept, but as I lay down, the pressure waves were coming strong.  Every 7 min I would switch to "off," relax into the pressure wave, then switch back up to "center" and doze.  After about an hour, I recognized that this really could be my birthing time if I could get the pressure waves closer.  I got up and walked around with my earbuds in.  After about an hour, they were staying spaced out, so I laid back down.  Things kept repeating themselves.  I finally woke my husband up and we moved to the bedroom, but I didn't stay for long.

Around 4 am, I hopped into the birth ball and bounced to "Aad Such Jugaad Such Hai Bhee Such."  After about an hour, they still weren't coming any closer, so I joined my hubby in bed with my earbuds in and continued to play Hypnobabies tracks.

When we woke up around 7 am, I told my husband they were very strong.  They were staying about 7-10 min apart, though.  My bloody show had also changed to red-tinged.  I texted the midwife: "These are 'baby bringing intensity.'  If they were closer together, I would know that this is my birthing time."  She asked to be updated.  Around 9, I sent my hubby and kiddos out for a doughnut run so I could focus on my body.

When I was up, they were coming every 5 min.  They were very intense if I was up.  If I lay back down I was better able to relax into them, but they would space back out to 10 min.  It felt better to be laying down and instinctively I turned on "Easy First Stage" on the "Birth Guide" CD.

For the next hour or so, I listened and stayed in "center" during pressure waves so I could use my "Peace cue."  We did the home study course with our last Hypnobabies baby.  We didn't realize we had cue to deepen my hypnosis and relaxation, so we were excited to try them out during birthing time this time.

HYPNOBABIES NOTE:  Unique to Hypnobabies is the use of real medical hypno-anesthesia.  This is the deep hypnosis that can be used in lieu of anesthesia during major surgeries.  It is at the same deep level of hypnosis that is achieved in Hypnobabies where sensations of discomfort are felt as only pressure or touch, etc.  The "Peace cue" allows our Moms to be able to create this anesthesia and to send it to wherever they may be experiencing any discomfort.

I was pleased with how effect my "peace cue" worked.  I was able to send my hypno-anesthsia to my cervix area and lower back where I was really feeling the pressure waves.

Around 10 or so, I felt a bit boxed in.  These were powerful pressure waves, but I still didn't know if this was it where they weren't coming any closer.  The midwife on-call that day lives about 45 min from my home.  We also wanted to leave enough time for an IV lock.  I didn't want to cry wolf again, but I wanted to give her enough time to arrive.  She read my telepathic thought and texted that she was scheduled for a post-partum visit with another mom in my city at 11:30.  She asked if she could stop by and check on us afterwards.  I was so relieved!  She wasn't going to make a special trip if this was a false alarm!  She recommended I rest up until she arrived.

At my husband's suggestion, I moved back down to the basement into our birth next.  We got the kids settled with a movie and I asked him to finish prepping the tub.  I lay down with my "Easy First Stage" track.  During this point I realized it was easier if I was "off" in between pressure waves, then counted up to "center" to use my "peace cue."  This made it much easier to relax into the pressure waves than if I was in "center" before a pressure wave.

I assumed the midwife's appointment would go from 11:30-12:30.  Around 1, I got up to use the restroom.  I thought I had enough time in between to get back into "off" before the next pressure wave.  While on the potty, a strong pressure wave caught me off guard.  It felt as strong as the pressure waves I had right before I pushed my last Hypnobabies baby out.  My husband happened to be in the room and was able to deepen my hypnosis with the "relax" cue (Does just that).  After the pressure wave, I tearfully explained to my husband how intense that was, but that I was afraid because they were still "too far apart" to be transformation (transition) intensity.  I lay back down and got back into the groove of things and was able to relax into the pressure waves like before getting up.  I was ready to eat lunch, so sat on the birth ball and like the pressure wave on the potty, it caught me off guard and was strong.  It wasn't comfortable to stay sitting, but when I stood up it was uncomfortable too.  I was struck by the power of the pressure wave that I couldn't move to get back to laying down.  My husband had been passing through the room and again offered support.  It was around 1 or so.  I asked him to text and make sure the midwife was coming and lay back down and eased back into pressure waves.

She arrived around 1:30.  We discussed things.  I told her that I was wanted her to perform an exam, but not to tell me numbers.  As we say in Hypnobabies, we do not give birth by numbers!  I just wanted to know if I could get into the tub because it felt like the water would help, but I didn't want to get in too early.  In between the discussion and the exam, I was standing for a pressure wave.  I told my husband I didn't know what I needed and he tried to offer support physically and with deepening, but I felt like I was about to crawl out of my skin with the power of that pressure wave.  I was hopping from foot to foot and couldn't relax into that pressure wave.

We made it through then moved to be able to do the exam.  The midwife's eyes grew wide as she performed the exam.  I could feel her fingers stretch, so I knew I wasn't still 1-2 cm open like the last exam.  I was guessing maybe 5 cm tops, though with how mild and spaced out pressure waves had been.  As she removed her glove, she calmly said I could get into the water any time I wanted.  She also asked if it was ok for her to call her assistants to join her.  After the birth, she was I was 7 cm open; however, when she opened her fingers, she could stretch my cervix to completely open.  She also asked if there was any one else who was suppose to be there for the birth.  We listed off our team and she suggested we tell them to come now.  Mark left to make phone calls.

With joy, I hopped into the water and told my midwife about my regret for frequent vaginal exams with my previous birth.  The Dr. wanted to be notified when I was 7 cm open.  His instructions were to perform another exam in 30 min if nothing happened before.  On the second exam I as still 7 cm open, but my baby had dropped.  His instructions were repeated and after 30 mins of powerful pressure waves and beginning to feel pushy, I was informed that I was "'just' 8 cm open."  I felt like I couldn't focus for another 2 hours (do the math...1 hour to go from 7-8 cm= 2 more hours to 10 cm + pushing) and requested narcotics.  About 30 seconds after the nurse left the room to phone the Dr., I had a pressure wave where my baby was coming down my birth canal.  Her eyes got wide again.  Poor midwife!  She arrived to find me ready to roll, no equipment in the house yet, not team yet and I was unknowingly increasing her suspicion that things could happen quickly.

Pressure waves began coming closer once in the water, but they were much more mild.  I could easily talk through them and was able to stay in "center" in between them.  I put my earbuds in anyway and continued with "Easy First Stage."  The midwife observed my change, asked if I was ok while she brought in her equipment.  I echoed her observation that the pressure waves were easy and to go ahead.  I was excited not feeling boxed in by numbers, but for the first time in days of regular pressure waves knew for sure this was my birthing time.

I had a pressure wave that was as strong as the 3 I had on "land" and began using my "peace cue" again.  My husband had amazing timing has he was going in and out of the room because yet once again he came part-way through and used the "relax cue" to deepen my hypnosis.  After the pressure wave, I told him I needed him to stay.  The midwife came in with equipment part-way through the next pressure wave that was just as powerful.  Afterward, she calmly told me that my membranes could release (water break)  at any time and to let her know when that happened so we could check on baby.  My husband stepped away for a few minutes to change into his swim trunks in a closet and was in the water with me shortly after.

I had one more powerful pressure wave where I struggled to get comfortable.  Part-way through the pressure wave I changed positions to a side-lying in the water with mu hubby holding me and the rest of the pressure wave was comfortable.  As the next pressure wave began, I was feeling pressure.  I decided to "sing my baby down" and wait for the pressure to build into the urge to push.  Our doula captured my singing on film.   

There are also some other great clips she took in the few minutes between feeling pushy and our babe in arms on my youtube channel.   They show well how effective Hypnobabies is and how alert and present I was during my birth time.  

HYPNOBABIES NOTE: In Hypnobabies we teach mother-directed pushing.  Mom can listen to her body as to when to push, how long to push, and what position to be in.  We encourage our moms to wait to bear down and to "ahhh" her baby down.  (Singing accomplished the same thing by keeping my jaw, and therefore, my cervix open and relaxed.  Many moms will begin to have the irresistible urge to bear down begin on the peaks of pressure waves.  With my first Hypnobabies baby I thought I was ONLY to breathe my baby down and didn't realize that it still requires some controlled pushing to ease baby over the perineum.  Pushing is different for every mom & baby.  We encourage moms to do what feels best.

At the end of my song, I had the urge to bear down at the peak of the pressure wave, which I did.  On the peak of the following wave, it again felt right to bear down.  As I did so, my membranes released.  My midwife monitored or baby's heart as I finished my song.  With the next pressure wave, I knew I needed to change positions.    

I bore down at the peak of one more pressure wave in this new position.  At encouragement from the midwife, I felt my baby's head.  My perineum was bulging in between pressure waves.  With the next pressure wave I pushed out his head all but his chin.  My midwife encouraged me to bear down just a little bit more.  My husband announced as he could see "his eyes, his nose, his mouth."  With the next pressure wave, I pushed out Shipton's body into Mark's arms behind me.  Our other 3 children had come into the room a few pressure waves earlier and were at our side to witness Shipton's birth.  It was a tender moment for us as a couple and family, having waited for so long for this little guy and several years for a baby of our own again.  HERE is the actual moment of his birthing time.  Our Doula caught it at a perfect angle to clearly see his arrival.  An exciting movie clip for birth junkies, but may be "offensive" for family or others who don't care to see.  :)

I love how the movie clip captured each child's excitement and joy.  Sennika was crying hysterically.  At first the midwife thought she was upset, but she kept saying "I'm so happy.  It's Shipton."  Leland was running around the pool trying to find the best angle to see past all the big people screaming "It's my baby!  Shipton is my baby!"  (We have always told the youngest sibling that the soon to arrive baby was THEIR baby.  It really helped to smooth over getting de-throned from being the baby).  Analytical Gavin said several times "I thought it was going to be another false alarm."  He was very angry about our previous false alarm because the kids had opened the movies, treats, and bubbles.  According to Gavin, we were going to "use up" all of these things if I kept having false alarms. :)

We could not have been happier for how our birthing time turned out!  It was so very easy!  It was just as easy as my false alarm minus a few powerful pressure waves and actually getting a baby to love and kiss.

 

And ps...He was less than the 9 lbs on my pre-announcment and came in the middle of the day rather than the middle of the night like I had envisioned.  His birthing time came when we both needed it and couldn't have been more perfect for us!