Mom's B-Day

Gavin and Shipton helping me put the demo boxes together.  It has been about a 6 months process start to finish, but we were given the go-ahead to assemble care packages for the women in our stake battling betrayal trauma from a spouse's sexual infidelity! Each item was clearly meant to be included (check out Mark's video HERE to see what they are like). I was expecting a request for maybe 20, but the bishops asked for 60 (so we did 70 to have a 10-box-buffer). My family could help me do a few of these, but 70!?! I quickly realized this was bigger than us, which is how it should be. As I considered possible dates, I realized my B-Day was coming...I cannot think of a better way to celebrate my life than by making others' lives brighter! With amazing connections that were truly God sent, everything arrived on time. As we made our final preparations for these, it has been a beautiful experience for me. There is healing in paying it forward, making the path smoother and clearer for others, and pointing others to Christ. It doesn't change what happened, but at the same time, it softens the experiences from the past and allows even more love into my own heart. I believe one reason we go through difficulty is that God can use us to reach His other children; we would be unable to do so without our experiences.

Sennika helping to carefully measure, cut, and heat seal-the ribbon. The care packages came together with our entire family working together on the prep work. I appreciate their love, support, and interest. I didn't remember to take a single picture or movie clip of my "B-Day party" (our care package assembly party), but it was incredible. It gave me goose bumps seeing all of the beautiful boxes lined up against the wall, knowing they represent women who will hopefully have a smoother healing process because of our efforts. I cannot fully articulate what it meant to me that night. As my life was completely shattered, I was alone and had no idea where to turn. We had already been working with therapists for about 6 months previously and things had only gotten worse. I felt like I was the only one in my situation and I had no idea where to start, let alone what to do. But to have an entire roomful of people coming together to support these packages plus easily double that who couldn't be in two places at once, did something to my heart. People care! They really do! These people were there because they care about me...but they also care about women facing betrayal trauma. I have no idea what the chances are that any of the women who receive one of these packages will see this post, but if they do, I want them to know that they are so loved. Complete strangers love you. Your friends, family, and leaders love you. God loves you. You are known, even in moments of darkness, despair, and darkness. I am kicking myself that I didn't film it for you so you could experience that, but know that you aren't alone!

A woman in my self-reliance group made me a birthday basket. It was so thoughtful!

Mark scheduled my B-day off, which was a nice surprise. We snuck away for lunch together.

My beautiful roses aren't as fresh today as they were when Mark gave them to me, but their fragrance has filled the house.

It was a wonderful celebration surrounded by those who love me. I appreciate family and friends who couldn't be with me in person, but still reached out on my special day.

The past few weeks...

It has been a long time since I have written.  It's a combination of several things.  We went to Idaho for a few days.  I expected to have time and access on our trip, but didn't.  Then I got out of the routine of daily writing.  Then since I was out of the routine there was so much to say and pictures to gather up from Mark's phone, my iPad, and the camera.  

On top of feeling overwhelmed to carve out time to catch up, our profile expired on adoption.com.  We have been deliberating about what to do from here.  For whatever reason that stirred up quite a bit of emotion for me.  I didn't expect a whole year to go by with no contacts.  As I mentioned previously, we had one "mom" reach out who was actually a scammer.  That is it.  I have wrestled with doubts and discouragements.  It has felt so vulnerable to open up and write and share, but still not be "the top pick."  As I have taken these concerns and frustrations to God, there has been the quiet reassurance that our birth mom will find us and that she will be attracted to us because of who we are.  So, I guess in summary, I've been overwhelmed and discouraged.:)  We still aren't sure about what we will do with adoption.com, but we will keep biniti up and I am happy to be back to writing.  Below is a major photo dump.  A few things that aren't pictured, but worth mentioning will be scattered in between the pictures below (unrelated to the pictures).

The kids were playing "airplane."  They asked for all the kitchen chairs down in the family room and set up all of the different parts for the pilot, movie, snacks, etc.  It shouldn't amaze me as much as it does, but it seems they will never run out of creative ideas.  Gavin is on the left, Leland is behind on the right, and Sennika is on the right.

Speaking of creative, here are Gavin and Sennika.  Gavin is using scraps of left over poster board  to design monsters complete with moving body parts (brads) and Sennika is putting an unusual piece of cardboard Dad brought home from work to good use.

~We had Stake Conference.  It was fabulous!  One of the last posts I wrote was about our struggles with reverence during Sacrament meeting.  Let me update you on our next Sunday experience.  We made the decision a few weeks ago to get Mark to the temple every week and for me to fall back to every other week.  With the weather warming up, we have also made the decision for me to play the organ in the temple every other week instead of every week.  I play for the 1 pm session, so it's right in the middle of our Saturday cutting up our day and making it difficult to do much before or after without having to stop to get ready in time.  With no temple for me, I was able to "guard" my Friday home efforts better and spent Saturday deep cleaning our home and connecting well with our children.  I usually sleep in on Sundays, but I got up early and was completely ready for the day before any of the children were awake.  Mark had an early meeting in connection with conference, but things still went smoothly at home.  Because I was up early, I was able to feed the kids as they woke up, then dress them after they finished.  I was amazed by how much more peaceful our home felt.  Since we had time to burn, we turned to lds.org.  I found this blog post that described my almost exact experience.  I am learning that the Sabbath isn't so much about a list of don't's, as much as it is about a day to rest from the busyness and daily demands...a chance to do it different with a different focus.  And, yes, they did awesome during conference.  With arriving early, they were happy for almost 2 1/2 hours!  Granted, it was in the morning, which I think it a factor, but I also know that my preparation and efforts brought a different spirit into our home which came with us to our meeting.~Between the adult meeting, Mark's priesthood leader meeting, and the general session, we felt so full!  Some reoccurring themes were about Sabbath day, God's miracles, and "putting away our swords" (Our Stake President talked about being humble rather than seeking to defend our pride and responding with anger).  This Stake is beginning to feel more and more like home.<3

On our trip to Idaho, Mark spent one day doing yard work with his parents on one of their rental homes. 

Daddy out mowing the lawn.  If you look closely behind him, you will be able to detect his little shadow, Leland.  All morning long while Mark was out doing yard work, Leland followed closely behind.  He helped him trim trees and mow the grass.  It was pretty cute.

This was from a few months ago, but here is Dad up on the roof.  Le took this picture of Mark while he cleaned out the rain gutters.  

~I also "graduated" from nursery.  The new call came suddenly and I was extended it during nursery the Sunday before conference and told that would be my last day in nursery because of being needed elsewhere.  I need to get some little thank you's out to my little nursery ones!  I am grateful for all I have learned in this almost past year and for these darling children who have loved me without condition.  My heart burst with joy as I turned my time and attention to my new calling and preparing for my first day serving.  I am the new Primary Chorister.  These children have had such a huge turn-over the past 6 months with choristers.  Last fall the chorister suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  It took several months for another to be called and after only a few months in the call she suddenly moved.  They have had a sub for about another month or so.  They need someone who will be constant for them.  I am grateful to do that for them.  Can you imagine how awesome my b-day party will be next year?! :)  I forgot to get set apart on Sunday, but I keep reflecting on my setting apart for nursery and how Brother Merrit said, "God knows you love the gospel and that you love children."  It is so true!  It's amazing to watch how God can take the same set of core abilities and gifts of the Spirit and continue to mix and match them in miraculous ways, expand and add to them, and fill in all the details so I am able to serve Him well.  I reflect on my years of studying music and that because of the time and effort, the technicalities of music will not get in the way for me to serve in this calling.  I consider on my time teaching gospel doctrine and how I feel so at home teaching pure doctrine. 

~As I have been prayerful these past few weeks, I can already see two things He wants me to learn and pass on to these amazing children.  The first is love.  It is a continuation of what He has been teaching me in my home: to "own" my own "stuff," so I can be neutral without bringing my own stuff into situations with others.  That as I give Him my stuff, He can fill me with love and I can respond from a place of love.  As we were singing together Sunday and I looked into their bright and eager faces, I can already feel that love swelling in my heart and growing for these sweet children.  The other thing I will learn and pass on is reverence.  This must start with my own reverence, which for me includes being consistent in having quiet and uninterrupted time each day to connect with God and to tune into myself.  He has shown me clearly that I will pass this on to the children by focusing on teaching them the music rather than focusing on "entertaining" them, as may seem so tempting.  He has helped me come to understand the importance of formal time and coming with a powerful Spirit on Sunday so they can share in that and know how special Sunday is.

At the dinosaur park inside a fossil cave.  Sennika on the right, then heading farther back are Leland, then Shipton, then Gavin.

Shipton playing on the playground at the Dinosaur park.  

Mark introduced Gavin to a board game called Stratego.  He has enjoyed the strategy part of the game.

~Mother's day was a jumble of emotions.  Mark and the kids were darling and went above and beyond with gifts, breakfast and other meals, and thoughtfulness.  The Spirit also directed me in specific ways to reach out to other women who needed encouragement and gratitude on Mother's day.  I am so honored to be the mother of these beautiful children, yet it tugs at my heart with all the unknowns that have been stirred lately.  Are these our all of our children?  Are we really done?  Will adoption really happen?  These question were encapsulated in guilt because 1. we have already been blessed with more children than many of whom we are painfully aware of, so it is "greedy" for us to want more (true, but twisted and tainted with half-truth).  2.  I can't handle the children I already have I am obviously screwing them completely up (lie, but some truths that yes, I am human and yes, I have made mistakes and I am continuing to learn every day). I finally asked for a blessing Sunday night and I am grateful for the reset.  A few things he said worth mentioning: he told me to cast out these lies and allow them no place within me.  (I got on my knees and tearfully did as commanded after the blessing and could see more clearly).  He also said that when my cup is full I am a powerfully instrument for God and blessed me to be aware of myself in those times when I need to stop and care for myself.  Monday morning I was up at 5:30 and just like Sunday had all of my needs taken care of and was filled with a reserve as I greeted my waking children.  I am learning so much each day and I am grateful for a loving God who is orchestrating experiences to help me learn from day to day.  I am still so human and growing each day, He and I both have learned that I won't wander too far any more.

While in Idaho, the kids and I went to my parents' house.  Here is Shipton playing with Grandma.

Here is Shipton playing with Grandpa (and Sennika watching).

Leland making pumpkin pancakes.

Mommy holding sleeping Shipton.

Mom and Shipton at the train museum.

Leland on the left and Shipton on the right.  Shipton was mad that the cookies weren't instantly baked. :)  We were trying out our new oven.  The other one was caught on a clean/broil cycle.  A guess a couple telling things about us reflected int his recent purchase: it took team work.  I was without an oven/stove for about a week before the repair man came, told us the problem, and hit reset on it.  Thankfully it was still under warranty from purchasing the home, so we had two options.  He could either repair it or cut a check for the cost of the repair we could put towards a new one.  We took the second and continued to use it until it happened again.  At that point I was back to crock pot, microwave, and grill cooking for about a week as Mark shopped around.  Because we could pay in cash and asked for a floor model plus found one on sale, we were able to get a pretty sweet deal on it.  It is the only stainless steel appliance in the kitchen at this point, but we will continue to upgrade as we are able/need to.  That's how we roll.  We don't have credit cards.  We are completely debt free with plenty of savings.  I am grateful for a spouse who sees money in similar ways as I do.  We are both willing to make trade-offs or wait or save up and I love that about Mark.

I think because of all the Lego ninjago books he has been reading he has ninjas on his mind more than usual.  Without saying anything he found his Halloween ninja costume and has been wearing it for part of the day most days.  (This is Gavin...I mean master Gavin).

I snapped this picture of Gavin (left), Sennika, and Leland (right) playing "cavemen."  They came in for lunch as asked for "meat."

These two ask for me to read Harry Potter in any spare moment.  

After his enjoyment of the Lego ninja books from the book fair, we invested in a set of about a dozen more chapter books. His upcoming curriculum only has about 3 chapter books to read for the year.  Where Sennika reads on her own every day, I haven't had to plan anything.  It's been wonderful to watch him reading throughout the day now.

Shipton playing mouse trap with Mark.

Shipton has been climbing up to the piano lately unannounced and playing the piano.  He sings along with his own words. One day he was singing about "Jesus suffered."  I was surprised and impressed.

Another Shipton picture.  This is one of his favorite places in the house and hands down his favorite snack or eating spot.

Shipton. <3

The kids planned a soccer game.  Left to right: Gavin, Leland (behind), Shipton (front), Sennika, and Dad on the ground.  They even planned concessions and made stadium seating for Mom to cheer from.

And here is Shipton managing the "mascots" they brought out for the game.

Shipton with some of our growing sprouts for the garden.

With the weather warming up, we have been going for family walks usually 2 or so times a week.  Mark and I have enjoyed the quality time to be with the kids plus we love that they sleep in later the next morning. :)  Seems to wear them out.  The kids seem to like this special time too and look forward to our announcement of "let's go on a walk."  This family walk ended up including Frosties at Wendy's.

Shipton and Mom watching for the trains.

This family walk took us past the temple.

Dad and the kids.

Here are all four kids reading together.  Gavin had taken a favorite book and was reading it, but changing up some of the words.  They huddled like this for a good half hour.  Going clockwise and starting at "12" is Gavin, Shipton, Leland, then Sennika is leaning off the bed.

More train museum

This is a favorite part of the train museum.  They have model trains that drive through these window displays.  The kids love chasing after them and following them until they hit tunnels.

Temple Date...

Catching a quick selfie at the stop sign. :)  If you look really closely you can see part of the temple wall behind us.

I had a thought last week.  There is an older couple in our ward who recently went to the temple for their endowment and sealing.  I know it was helpful for me when I was new to temple attendance to go with someone else who could walk me through it the first few times.  As we invited them, we found out it would be their first time doing Sealings. As I have shared with other things in this time and season of life, it's a great feeling to be able to pay it forward.  It was a delightful sealing session and we enjoyed walking them through.  I love those tender moments meeting eyes across the altar with my sweetheart.  I am reminded of all the glorious ways God has helped us grow together and the bright future we have as we continue on our eternal journey together.

I am grateful for the timing of doing Sealings last night.  Mark brought up the possibility of taking down the crib earlier this week.  Our profile has sat for almost a year with only one contact (which was a scam).  He is right.  It would be best to take it down and give more space for the timing.  It hurts though.  It reminds me of a similar time between Leland and Shipton.  We kept getting pregnant only to miscarry, but we knew we were to try again.  It just made sense to keep the crib up where we were expecting to have another baby soon.  But soon continued to tick by.  Then seeing that empty crib was a sad reminder each time we walked past it.  Here we are now having lived in the expecting baby any time mindset again for the past year.  It's time to surrender it.  Part of me has been relieved it hasn't happened sooner.  It has given us time to enjoy our other little ones and let them grow more.  That part that hurts and worries can at times  temporarily choke out the hope.  With the recent discussions on the crib, I felt raw going last night.  It was the right place to be.  Hearing the beautiful blessings and promises last night refreshed my hope.  That renewed hope is growing in a different way this time.  I have come to know myself well enough to recognize that when I feel pain, there is more to surrender...that attachment to something.  In my mind, I was attached to it coming together in a certain timeline or in certain ways.  I am giving that over to Him.

Relief Society...

I realized that I somehow skipped a post yesterday, so how about writing two?  This post will just have to be without a picture.  I am a member of the world's largest organization for women: the Relief Society.  I feel like that really started to sink in on a deeper level a few years ago.  I was reminded of that shift from a general to a personal understanding of it last night.  We had our monthly activity together and as I looked around the room as we were laughing together and enjoying each other's company, I realized these women are beginning to become dear sisters to me.  It is within this sisterhood that I have found strength and support.  Not on a general level, but as individuals have ministered to me and my family and vice versa.  It has been a beautiful experience for me to do more than just attend Relief Society on Sunday--- especially at times like right now where I am serving in a calling that takes me away from meeting with these women. It has been my reaching (or at times, being reached), outside of just Sunday meetings that has given me these treasured experiences. This women's organization was also restored as part of Jesus Christ's church and organization.  I take comfort in knowing that God knows that we women need one another.  That isn't new and it's won't change either.  

On Pregnancy and Birth...

Written May 20, 2015

Yesterday I stared out into a sea of young faces.  Some stared back with wide eyes, others looked
empowered by my words.  I have been invited many times before to guest speak about pregnancy
and birth, especially by professors at BYU-Idaho.  My hope is that the two hours spent in the
classrooms yesterday open minds to the possibilities and helped women to understand that they
always have choices.  Although it wasn't a new opportunity yesterday, it felt different this time as my
thoughts turned to the woman who may some day be reading this.

I guess today is a good day to openly introduce this to you as a birth mom.  I am a certified
Hypnobabies Childbirth Hypnosis Instructor and Doula.  It has been my great pleasure to empower
couples over the past two years as I have opened my home and taught them the Hypnobabies course. 

Hypnobabies is phenomenal!  It came at a pivotal time in my own life.  Early during Leland's pregnancy
we were told that the best outcome we could expect was for him to arrive extremely early.  We were
given such grim news that I even sewed a burial outfit for him.  We were granted a huge miracle and
had a complete turn around for the last 2 months of the pregnancy.  I wanted desperately to love this
baby and to give him the connection that out of my fear I had withheld from him in months previous. 
Hypnobabies helped me to connect to my baby.  It helped me to understand my options during
pregnancy and birth.  I learned skills from the course that I have been able to universally apply to
my life such as the power of my mind and beliefs.  My births with Leland, and later Shipton, were
both completely comfortable.  That was the icing on the cake for me when I thought it wasn't possible
to love Hypnobabies any more. :)

I want to make it known that should you be interested in Hypnobabies, I am prepared to support you. 
I would love to gift you the materials to either do the course on your own with homestudy or take
the class live (possibly even consider doing it together online with me).  If Hypnobabies isn't a great fit,
 I would love to help prepare you and attend the birth as a doula.  If neither are comfortable, I can
respect that too! :)

Regardless of whether we end up doing life together or not, as a birth mom reading this, I would
encourage you to research your options for pregnancy and birth if you haven't already.  I am here
as a resource to answer questions and point you to resources regardless of being interested in our
family or not!

Sending Love,

Katy

oh and ps...I have saved a belly casting kit for you, birth mom and will totally mail it with instructions if
you want to do it as a keep-sake! :)

Birthday Bash...

Written Mar 22, 2016

I have been serving in the nursery in our church since we moved to Utah last year.  It is my dream calling in many ways...I get to be with toddlers and preschoolers (18months - 3years), to get down on the floor and play, to be silly and they always think whatever I do is so cool, to sing, and rock them and carry them, I love how big there little eyes get and their busy hands quieted for moments at a time as I bear my testimony and teach them...and of course snack time, right?  :)  This isn't the first time I have had this calling, but this is the first time I have realized the significance of what I am doing each week.

There has been a tiny part of me that has struggled to go every week.  The part of me that was called within a few weeks of moving.  The part of me that was starting over with building friendships and support networks. The part of me that was accustom to already knowing everyone in my ward family and being an important part of it.  It has meant that I must be proactive and purposeful in getting to know our new ward family outside of our church meetings.  

As I took these struggles to the Lord, He showed me that there is more to why I am serving here at this time than to "babysit" while the adults go to their meetings.  I am here with these children and their families for a reason.  He has already guided me to recognize details I had been unable to see previously.

Around that time we also were invited to a Stake Training and the focus was nursery.  The biggest thing I walked away was one sister quoting Sister Wixam (the General Primary President) something along the lines of "we must teach our children now what we need them to know in 5 years."  WOW!  So these little 18 month-olds are learning what they need to know when they are 6.  These little 3-year-olds are learning what they will need to know to prepare for baptism. 

My eyes have been opened to recognize these holy moments and that God has entrusted me to teach the youngest age possible at church (outside of my own home).  He just handed me 8 little pieces of malleable clay to shape and love.  

When I had the idea to invite these dear little friends and their families into my home, it felt so natural.  We planned an Easter egg hunt for them at our home.  Although they didn't all come, it was joyful to prepare for their arrival and to hear the pitter patter of so many excited little feet running around my home.  I wish I could include more than one picture, but I am unable to on this site.  It was a wonderful party and a privilege to have them in our home. I am grateful for them and all I am learning by being with them every week.

The Temple...

Written Mar 23, 2016

It's been fun to get in the groove of writing every day and giving you half put together thoughts and snippets you may otherwise not get.  I have noticed on my traffic that I seem to have regular visitors.  I don't know of your faith, but mine is of an eternal perspective.  As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that this life here isn't the end.  I believe that it is but a small part of our existence---that we lived before coming here and that we will continue on after death.  I believe that family relationships can be eternal.  Isn't that as is should be?  That individuals within a family seek to improve themselves and strengthen relationships so that we want to continue these relationships? I know it isn't like that for everyone, but I believe it is possible.  I cannot imagine the death of my sister and watching her little casket being laid in the grave only to wonder why our time with her was so short or if she was truly gone forever.  I have become acquainted with a loving and just God and know that would be contrary to His nature.  I also believe that God not only intends to save us, but to exalt us.  To may Christians this may seem blasphemous, but it is truly the same doctrine Christ sought to teach during His mortal ministry.  It is in sacred structures called temples that we learn about our eternal relationship with God and how He intends to accomplish such a lofty goal.  

Last night while Mark tucked the kiddos in bed, I headed up to the temple.  It was my great privilege to be one of several volunteers there to clean.  I started out vacuuming the Celestial room.  Some of my other favorites were vacuuming the bride's room and where Initiatory is performed.  My heart filled with gratitude as I pondered on the peace and perspective I have had in these very walls and my beloved Rexburg temple and some sacred moments in the Idaho Falls temple.  There are many side stories I could take with this post as I had about 3 hours to ponder on the memories and thoughts that were stirred by being there last night.  

Being there to clean I was reminded of one more way Mark has spent his time.  When the Rexburg temple was built, we expectedly anticipated to volunteer as ordinance workers. We found out that if you have children, your youngest child must be at least 18. :(  We found out that we could serve in other ways and we were needed.  Mark would go weekly for about 3 hours to supervise volunteers like I had been last night in cleaning the temple. I played the organ and would contact the music coordinator when I was pregnant.  She would rotate me out if the pregnancy held and I would call her to be rotated back in once my newborn was old enough to leave with Daddy.  Having these opportunities to serve helped to keep our temple running, but also has blessed us and our family.

Another thought is that even though it was tricky to get me to the temple regularly with so many little ones, Mark and I both have made that a priority.  With so many pregnancies and so many babies at home, most of my temple worship had been playing the organ followed by Initiatory. Shortly after we moved, I had the prompting to increase my temple attendance and bring my own names too.  It felt unreal to consider HOW we were going to do it.  We were already trading off and sending one of us every week.  How could we possibly send me every week and Mark every other?  We stepped forward with faith. I appreciate the ways Mark has covered my responsibilities at home, so I can have peace of mind during my time away.  Being in the temple every week has been an incredible blessing to me the past almost 9 months.  Most weeks my worship has happened Saturday, followed by partaking of the Sacrament Sunday.  It has brought the Doctrines of Exaltation---that God wants me to become like Him---to life.  Although only crawling inches forward each week, it is forward movement and that has become visible through following this prompting.

Last thought for today.  As we prayed for our straightest course of refinement, the one with the least waste to become like Him with the most efficiency, adoption has been part of that answer. Already we can see part of why and hints for the future. There are days I wonder if I am crazy.  There are days when it feels discouraging and that it seems it will never happen.  There are times it feels too impossible.  We have so much to offer a child and after what we have been through could easily take a birth family comfortably into our own family...but we are still so human with imperfections and weaknesses.  Sometimes I wonder if that humanness is somehow blocking this process from happening.  Basically some days I feel back grade school waiting to be picked for teams at recess, waiting feeling so awkward and worried about HOW it will happen.:)  Thankfully I have enough experience to usually recognize quickly the source of doubt and recenter my trust and faith.  In December we went to the temple as part of our anniversary celebration to perform sealings.  These were our own family names we had done all of the work from finding our ancestors to now sealing ordinances, so it was all the more of a special occasion. Kneeling across the altar from my husband sealing these children to their parents, it hit me powerfully. Of all the things we have to offer, having entered into covenants and seeking to keep them is the greatest blessing to our children.  With willing hearts, God will find the child for us. Of course He will. The desire of our heart is a righteous and worthy one.

I apologize for ending abruptly, but I'm not sure where to go from here in my words.  Maybe more thoughts will come together today or in the coming days to share more.  In the mean time, we want our birth mom to know we are praying for you. We know God is aware of you and your circumstances.  I know for me, at dark times in my life, it seemed He had left me.  At times I felt confused, alone, and even abandoned.  In hindsight I can see clearly that He was always there, often through angels He sent along my path to encourage me and to be His instruments for good in the details of my life. There were times I wished in the moment that things would work out the way I foresaw would be best, but again, in hindsight, and I grateful for unanswered prayers (or God steering me a different direction or to have different timing). God doesn't do coincidences. I KNOW that and I'm learning to trust it more quickly. 

ALL MY LOVE!

~Katy