Birthday Girl!

In honor of her favorite color we had an orange breakfast with pumpkin pancakes, sweet potato casserole, and oranges.

Mark has more pictures on his phone I will have to grab when I can remember.

This beautiful sunshine girl is 9!  She is truly a light to all who come in contact with her, even if it's a brief time. I have never met a more confident little girl.  She makes this world a better place!

Part of me is so happy for her growing and the other part wants to put on the brakes and snatch her up in my arms, grab a blanket, and rock her in the rocking chair! :)  I remember as a new and sleep-deprived mom of this colicky little angel, people would stop me in public and tell me to enjoy it because it would go by too fast.  I remember thinking to myself, "and that would be a bad things because...?" :)  With her being my first it seemed she couldn't grow fast enough.  I was always looking ahead to what was next.  When would she finally sit up?  When would she crawl and walk?  When would she start talking?  Now on the winding down end of babies, I can see more clearly what all these people were talking about...to slow down and soak it up.  To enjoy it because I can never have these moments back.  They will never be little again.

The older she has gotten, the quicker she seems to grow.  The quicker she grows the less anxious I am  to be so worried about what comes next I am missing this moment. I am still learning to enjoy my children right now.  I realized about a month ago that I need to hug Sennika back with as much love and joy she gives me because there may come a time when she won't offer them herself.  I need to listen more with my full attention when she wants to talk because there may come a time when she won't offer her thoughts and feelings and experiences as easily and enthusiastically.

Sennika is such a special girl!  Ever since a young age she has demonstrated her sharp mind and great ability to understand beyond what would normally be expected for her age.  I have watched this be a benefit to her both academically and spiritually.

She sees through whatever she sets her mind to.  In this time of increasing darkness and confusion, I rejoice knowing that she is so strong-willed and will not be easily swayed.

Weekend Dump...

Friday night we sacked movie night.  It was great weather and with sunset being so late, we opted for some yard work and time together that way.

BEFORE

Saturday morning we took out a tree.  I say we, but it was actually one of our neighbors...then turned into most of our neighbors.  We have someone in our ward who has a huge chain saw and loves to use it.  As we have been hacking away at the overgrowth in our yard, he will often stop by and finish the job in one swipe.  We have greatly appreciated his faster methods and willingness to help.  This tree was pretty big.  I had a "plant friend" come look at it and she said it's the kind of tree that grows really fast.  Since it grew so quickly, it isn't a strong tree and with is being so close to the house and our neighbor's fence, we opted to cut it down now while we have the control of which direction it will go.

The process was pretty crazy to watch.  It took some time to figure it out, but our neighbor did awesome.  One by one our neighbors came out to watch.  I wonder if part was in worry of the tree being so close to their houses, but the other part of curiosity, fun, support...?  I'm not sure.  They decided it best to trim off two large branches that would be most likely to hit the neighbor's fence.  I was out of the room, but everyone filled me in later how crazy the second branch was.  It was headed for his fence, then they said it was like it was picked up and set back down in a place out of the way.  After they were gone, it was time to hook a rope around the trunk and branches and hitch the rope to his truck.  His wife stood on alert while he angled the saw to send the tree safely away from any structures.  They did an incredible job timing it all perfectly.  Just as the tree started to tip, she floored it and guided it into the middle of the road.  By the time the tree hit the ground, I was almost in tears.  Everyone cheered.  I can't exactly put into words what I felt, but gratitude for these people who are becoming dear.  It really is starting to feel more and more like home here.

New view from the west of our house.

Hauling the wood took the rest of the morning.  We borrowed 3 trucks to do the job and after 5 truckloads, we still have some stumps out front waiting for another neighbor to come pick up for firewood.  The kids were troopers.  We celebrated with root beer floats.

After we rested and cooled off, Mark headed out to do more yard work and I turned my attention on preparing our home for the Sabbath.  Our sprinklers have been flooding inside the box.  Since this is the first time turning them on, we have no idea what is the "baseline."  We have asked around and researched and coming up with it not being normal.  He worked some more to dig and cut away tree roots.  He seemed to have found the problem for one of the boxes and will get it finished up this week.

Gavin is the king of the stump...

and so is Sennika!

We had a quiet Sabbath.  We played games together in the morning.  I was able to attend Gospel Doctrine with the shift in my new calling (Primary is combined, so it is only a 1-hour calling on Sundays).  I have been teaching the kids "Praise to the Man," Hymn #27.  It has been wonderful to share my testimony of Jospeh Smith and has strengthened my gratitude for him.  I was curious how well they would remember what we learned last week.  To my amazement, they sang out strong.  It's been tricky to find a method that covers all learning styles plus takes into account that we have children ranging from ages 3-12 in primary at one time.  As we learn a new song, it needs to be helpful to both young and older children.  I think it's working!

Gavin made an arcade.  Here Daddy and Leland are trying it out.

Leland doing puzzles

Shipton doing puzzles

After church we had a "linger longer" and enjoyed dinner with our ward family.  Next time we won't go home to change before.  We missed quite a bit of the visiting time and food, but we were happy for what we did catch.

Out Walking....

Left to right:  Sennika, Gavin, Shipton (sleeping) :), and Leland

We keep trying to catch our favorite shaved ice "watering hole," but Gavin is convinced the hours of operation have been set up to avoid us.  Last time we expected it to be open in the evening, but they close at 6 pm.  We went yesterday and for whatever reason they had a notice up that for 2 days in a row they wouldn't open until about 4 pm.  The kids were disappointed PLUS we walked all the way to the other side of town.  They opted for frosties again rather than wait until later for the shaved ice.

A side thought: Shipton is still breastfeeding.  Just like I never expected to have 3 children in 3 years (Senn, Gavin, and Le), I never expected to nurse a toddler...especially this long.  He has gone to nursery at church and has been potty trained, but here we are still nursing.  Part of me wondered if his lingering would enable my milk to stay in to be able to nurse Baby.  Nursing calms him down better than anything else.  He associated it with comfort and I think his continued nursing has been more about that than actually getting any milk.  I wanted to nurse Shipton longer than I did with the older three.  They all weaned around 9 months.  He would probably be happy to nurse for the rest of his life it seems!  I have been so done for quite a while, but he is so cute and polite.  He asks in the sweetest tiny voice "could I have milk-y time please?" as he looks at me with his great big eyes.  I was dreading nap time yesterday because with holding firm in weaning, it breaks his little heart when I offer his Sippy cup and snuggles instead.  HUGE tender mercy for me yesterday was his falling asleep on the walk home.  He was so soundly asleep, he slept in the stroller in the shade while I worked on the flower beds in the front yard.

On fathers...

We want to make it very clear on where we stand with the importance of strong men.  Here are three talks from the recent General Conference of our church speaking on the essential roles of righteous husbands and fathers.  "Fathers" by Elder Christofferson (pasted below), "In Praise of Those Who Save," by President Uchtdorf, and "The Price of Priesthood Power," by President Nelson.

I have said it before, but will say it once again: I am grateful for a husband who takes his responsibilities to lead our family and to teach our children seriously.  He has grown in these roles and grown in his confidence and approaches.  I love that he views the children as individuals and seeks to support them in their individual needs and growth.  In a world that is slipping quickly into indifference of gender and gender roles, we hold firm in our belief and knowledge of the importance of mothers and fathers in families.  There are individual circumstances or even times and seasons that require adaptation, but this is the ideal we are striving to create in our home.  We praise God for the wonder of His plan for eternal families!

I focus today on the good that men can do in the highest of masculine roles—husband and father.

I speak today of fathers. Fathers are fundamental in the divine plan of happiness, and I want to raise a voice of encouragement for those who are striving to fill well that calling. To praise and encourage fatherhood and fathers is not to shame or discount anyone. I simply focus today on the good that men can do in the highest of masculine roles—husband and father.

David Blankenhorn, the author of Fatherless America, has observed: “Today, American society is fundamentally divided and ambivalent about the fatherhood idea. Some people do not even remember it. Others are offended by it. Others, including more than a few family scholars, neglect it or disdain it. Many others are not especially opposed to it, nor are they especially committed to it. Many people wish we could act on it, but believe that our society simply no longer can or will.”1

As a Church, we believe in fathers. We believe in “the ideal of the man who puts his family first.”2 We believe that “by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”3 We believe that in their complementary family duties, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”4 We believe that far from being superfluous, fathers are unique and irreplaceable.

Some see the good of fatherhood in social terms, as something that obligates men to their offspring, impelling them to be good citizens and to think about the needs of others, supplementing “maternal investment in children with paternal investment in children. … In short, the key for men is to be fathers. The key for children is to have fathers. The key for society is to create fathers.”5 While these considerations are certainly true and important, we know that fatherhood is much more than a social construct or the product of evolution. The role of father is of divine origin, beginning with a Father in Heaven and, in this mortal sphere, with Father Adam.

The perfect, divine expression of fatherhood is our Heavenly Father. His character and attributes include abundant goodness and perfect love. His work and glory are the development, happiness, and eternal life of His children.6 Fathers in this fallen world can claim nothing comparable to the Majesty on High, but at their best, they are striving to emulate Him, and they indeed labor in His work. They are honored with a remarkable and sobering trust.

For men, fatherhood exposes us to our own weaknesses and our need to improve. Fatherhood requires sacrifice, but it is a source of incomparable satisfaction, even joy. Again, the ultimate model is our Heavenly Father, who so loved us, His spirit children, that He gave us His Only Begotten Son for our salvation and exaltation.7 Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”8Fathers manifest that love as they lay down their lives day by day, laboring in the service and support of their families.

Perhaps the most essential of a father’s work is to turn the hearts of his children to their Heavenly Father. If by his example as well as his words a father can demonstrate what fidelity to God looks like in day-to-day living, that father will have given his children the key to peace in this life and eternal life in the world to come.9 A father who reads scripture to and with his children acquaints them with the voice of the Lord.10

We find in the scriptures a repeated emphasis on the parental obligation to teach one’s children:

“And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. …

“And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.”11

In 1833, the Lord reprimanded members of the First Presidency for inadequate attention to the duty of teaching their children. To one He said specifically, “You have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction.”12

Fathers are to teach God’s law and works anew to each generation. As the Psalmist declared:

“For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:

“That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should [then] arise and declare them to their children:

“That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.”13

Certainly teaching the gospel is a shared duty between fathers and mothers, but the Lord is clear that He expects fathers to lead out in making it a high priority. (And let’s remember that informal conversations, working and playing together, and listening are important elements of teaching.) The Lord expects fathers to help shape their children, and children want and need a model.

I myself was blessed with an exemplary father. I recall that when I was a boy of about 12, my father became a candidate for the city council in our rather small community. He did not mount an extensive election campaign—all I remember was that Dad had my brothers and me distribute copies of a flyer door to door, urging people to vote for Paul Christofferson. There were a number of adults that I handed a flyer to who remarked that Paul was a good and honest man and that they would have no problem voting for him. My young boy heart swelled with pride in my father. It gave me confidence and a desire to follow in his footsteps. He was not perfect—no one is—but he was upright and good and an aspirational example for a son.

Discipline and correction are part of teaching. As Paul said, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.”14 But in discipline a father must exercise particular care, lest there be anything even approaching abuse, which is never justified. When a father provides correction, his motivation must be love and his guide the Holy Spirit:

“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

“That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.”15

Discipline in the divine pattern is not so much about punishing as it is about helping a loved one along the path of self-mastery.

The Lord has said that “all children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age.”16 Breadwinning is a consecrated activity. Providing for one’s family, although it generally requires time away from the family, is not inconsistent with fatherhood—it is the essence of being a good father. “Work and family are overlapping domains.”17 This, of course, does not justify a man who neglects his family for his career or, at the other extreme, one who will not exert himself and is content to shift his responsibility to others. In the words of King Benjamin:

“Ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another. …

“But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.”18

We recognize the agony of men who are unable to find ways and means adequately to sustain their families. There is no shame for those who, at a given moment, despite their best efforts, cannot fulfill all the duties and functions of fathers. “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”19

Loving the mother of his children—and showing that love—are two of the best things a father can do for his children. This reaffirms and strengthens the marriage that is the foundation of their family life and security.

Some men are single fathers, foster fathers, or stepfathers. Many of them strive mightily and do their very best in an often difficult role. We honor those who do all that can be done in love, patience, and self-sacrifice to meet individual and family needs. It should be noted that God Himself entrusted His Only Begotten Son to a foster father. Surely some of the credit goes to Joseph for the fact that as Jesus grew, He “increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.”20

Regrettably, due to death, abandonment, or divorce, some children don’t have fathers living with them. Some may have fathers who are physically present but emotionally absent or in other ways inattentive or nonsupportive. We call on all fathers to do better and to be better. We call on media and entertainment outlets to portray devoted and capable fathers who truly love their wives and intelligently guide their children, instead of the bumblers and buffoons or “the guys who cause problems,” as fathers are all too frequently depicted.

To children whose family situation is troubled, we say, you yourself are no less for that. Challenges are at times an indication of the Lord’s trust in you. He can help you, directly and through others, to deal with what you face. You can become the generation, perhaps the first in your family, where the divine patterns that God has ordained for families truly take shape and bless all the generations after you.

To young men, recognizing the role you will have as provider and protector, we say, prepare now by being diligent in school and planning for postsecondary training. Education, whether in a university, technical school, apprenticeship, or similar program, is key to developing the skills and capabilities you will need. Take advantage of opportunities to associate with people of all ages, including children, and learn how to establish healthy and rewarding relationships. That typically means talking face to face with people and sometimes doing things together, not just perfecting your texting skills. Live your life so that as a man you will bring purity to your marriage and to your children.

To all the rising generation, we say, wherever you rank your own father on the scale of good-better-best (and I predict that ranking will go higher as you grow older and wiser), make up your mind to honor him and your mother by your own life. Remember the yearning hope of a father as expressed by John: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”21 Your righteousness is the greatest honor any father can receive.

To my brethren, the fathers in this Church, I say, I know you wish you were a more perfect father. I know I wish I were. Even so, despite our limitations, let us press on. Let us lay aside the exaggerated notions of individualism and autonomy in today’s culture and think first of the happiness and well-being of others. Surely, despite our inadequacies, our Heavenly Father will magnify us and cause our simple efforts to bear fruit. I am encouraged by a story that appeared in the New Era some years ago. The author recounted the following:

“When I was young, our little family lived in a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor. I slept on the couch in the living room. …

“My dad, a steelworker, left home very early for work each day. Every morning he would … tuck the covers around me and stop for a minute. I would be half-dreaming when I could sense my dad standing beside the couch, looking at me. As I slowly awoke, I became embarrassed to have him there. I tried to pretend I was still asleep. … I became aware that as he stood beside my bed he was praying with all his attention, energy, and focus—for me.

“Each morning my dad prayed for me. He prayed that I would have a good day, that I would be safe, that I would learn and prepare for the future. And since he could not be with me until evening, he prayed for the teachers and my friends that I would be with that day. …

“At first, I didn’t really understand what my dad was doing those mornings when he prayed for me. But as I got older, I came to sense his love and interest in me and everything I was doing. It is one of my favorite memories. It wasn’t until years later, after I was married, had children of my own, and would go into their rooms while they were asleep and pray for them that I understood completely how my father felt about me.”22

Alma testified to his son:

“Behold, I say unto you, that it is [Christ] that surely shall come … ; yea he cometh to declare glad tidings of salvation unto his people.

“And now, my son, this was the ministry unto which ye were called, to declare these glad tidings unto this people, to prepare their minds; or rather … that they may prepare the minds of their children to hear the word at the time of his coming.”23

That is the ministry of fathers today. God bless and make them equal to it, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Left

Right

For our birth mom:

This picture needs to be a post all by itself.  I ended up with a migraine.  My guess is a combination of hormones (lovely time of the month) and exhaustion from Shipton up at night (had a runny nose that seemed to be stirring an ear ache that had kept him up for over a week every night).  Moms don't get sick days though unless it's urgent enough to have Daddy stay home (and this wasn't).  The kids were great to play on their own as much as they could.  To their excitement and gratitude (and mine) we did happy meals for lunch.  It was easy food plus mom could grab a coke to work with the head throbbing.  Thankfully because it is extremely rare for me to drink caffeine, it kicked in within about 15 minutes and took the edge off enough that I could function very well for the rest of the day.  HERE IS THE POINT OF THIS POST: The migraine had been bad enough to stir nausea and vomiting.  As I had my head in the toilet, a sadly familiar place from all of my previous pregnancies, my thoughts turned to birth mom.  It hit my on a new level that it hadn't before: you are literally carrying this baby for us!  Having been through 8 pregnancies ourselves and 4 full-term births, we (and I use the word WE on purpose because Mark has been right there and so aware of my struggles) have experienced many different aspects of pregnancy from cravings to IV's and even suppositories of medicine for uncontrolled vomiting...to changes in skin to extremely dry or extremely oily...to sleepless nights...to having ribs or bladder kicked...to swollen ankles and feet...to heart burn and fatigue.  Ok, ok...you get it.  You know it well because you may be living it right now.  I cannot imagine doing all of that for "someone else."  I know you love this baby.  It's obvious that you would go through all of this because you love your baby.  PLUS I can't imagine how deeply you love this baby to rip your heart out and place her in our arms.  Nor can I imagine how deeply you love her to (as we hope you are willing and able to do) continue to be a part of her life and our family and the hurt that may stir that she lives with us and not you.  Even writing this, my eyes fill with tears!  One of our friends who is a birth mom said something when she found out we are adopting that has stuck with me.  It was early on in our adoption journey, so at the time it didn't seem true and maybe that's why it has stayed with me.  "Adoption isn't for the faint of heart."  As I have become more aware of all sides of the adoption triad, I am beginning to understand more of what she meant.  This is a fiery, fiery refining trial for all involved.  There was a quote in our foster training that I am kicking myself for not writing down.  I can't find it anywhere since.  It said something like, "Somebody else's child calls me mom.  This tragedy is not wasted on me."  Although adoption can be really positive, and that is what we envision is this baby having two families who love her fiercely, today I acknowledge that all aspects of adoption aren't warm and fuzzy...it isn't all cotton candy and lollipops. It is an efficient process to cut straight through...of shedding the dross...of making the need for God and the wonder of His miracles unquestionably clear.  We are thankful to be on this journey with you.  Although we don't yet know who you are, we pray for you.  We know you are a woman of courage because God wouldn't have allowed this in your life if you weren't .  I have said it elsewhere, but we truly love you and deeply appreciate your doing that for us which we cannot do for ourselves.  Thank you for the beautiful gifts of this baby and your life-long friendship.

The past few weeks...

It has been a long time since I have written.  It's a combination of several things.  We went to Idaho for a few days.  I expected to have time and access on our trip, but didn't.  Then I got out of the routine of daily writing.  Then since I was out of the routine there was so much to say and pictures to gather up from Mark's phone, my iPad, and the camera.  

On top of feeling overwhelmed to carve out time to catch up, our profile expired on adoption.com.  We have been deliberating about what to do from here.  For whatever reason that stirred up quite a bit of emotion for me.  I didn't expect a whole year to go by with no contacts.  As I mentioned previously, we had one "mom" reach out who was actually a scammer.  That is it.  I have wrestled with doubts and discouragements.  It has felt so vulnerable to open up and write and share, but still not be "the top pick."  As I have taken these concerns and frustrations to God, there has been the quiet reassurance that our birth mom will find us and that she will be attracted to us because of who we are.  So, I guess in summary, I've been overwhelmed and discouraged.:)  We still aren't sure about what we will do with adoption.com, but we will keep biniti up and I am happy to be back to writing.  Below is a major photo dump.  A few things that aren't pictured, but worth mentioning will be scattered in between the pictures below (unrelated to the pictures).

The kids were playing "airplane."  They asked for all the kitchen chairs down in the family room and set up all of the different parts for the pilot, movie, snacks, etc.  It shouldn't amaze me as much as it does, but it seems they will never run out of creative ideas.  Gavin is on the left, Leland is behind on the right, and Sennika is on the right.

Speaking of creative, here are Gavin and Sennika.  Gavin is using scraps of left over poster board  to design monsters complete with moving body parts (brads) and Sennika is putting an unusual piece of cardboard Dad brought home from work to good use.

~We had Stake Conference.  It was fabulous!  One of the last posts I wrote was about our struggles with reverence during Sacrament meeting.  Let me update you on our next Sunday experience.  We made the decision a few weeks ago to get Mark to the temple every week and for me to fall back to every other week.  With the weather warming up, we have also made the decision for me to play the organ in the temple every other week instead of every week.  I play for the 1 pm session, so it's right in the middle of our Saturday cutting up our day and making it difficult to do much before or after without having to stop to get ready in time.  With no temple for me, I was able to "guard" my Friday home efforts better and spent Saturday deep cleaning our home and connecting well with our children.  I usually sleep in on Sundays, but I got up early and was completely ready for the day before any of the children were awake.  Mark had an early meeting in connection with conference, but things still went smoothly at home.  Because I was up early, I was able to feed the kids as they woke up, then dress them after they finished.  I was amazed by how much more peaceful our home felt.  Since we had time to burn, we turned to lds.org.  I found this blog post that described my almost exact experience.  I am learning that the Sabbath isn't so much about a list of don't's, as much as it is about a day to rest from the busyness and daily demands...a chance to do it different with a different focus.  And, yes, they did awesome during conference.  With arriving early, they were happy for almost 2 1/2 hours!  Granted, it was in the morning, which I think it a factor, but I also know that my preparation and efforts brought a different spirit into our home which came with us to our meeting.~Between the adult meeting, Mark's priesthood leader meeting, and the general session, we felt so full!  Some reoccurring themes were about Sabbath day, God's miracles, and "putting away our swords" (Our Stake President talked about being humble rather than seeking to defend our pride and responding with anger).  This Stake is beginning to feel more and more like home.<3

On our trip to Idaho, Mark spent one day doing yard work with his parents on one of their rental homes. 

Daddy out mowing the lawn.  If you look closely behind him, you will be able to detect his little shadow, Leland.  All morning long while Mark was out doing yard work, Leland followed closely behind.  He helped him trim trees and mow the grass.  It was pretty cute.

This was from a few months ago, but here is Dad up on the roof.  Le took this picture of Mark while he cleaned out the rain gutters.  

~I also "graduated" from nursery.  The new call came suddenly and I was extended it during nursery the Sunday before conference and told that would be my last day in nursery because of being needed elsewhere.  I need to get some little thank you's out to my little nursery ones!  I am grateful for all I have learned in this almost past year and for these darling children who have loved me without condition.  My heart burst with joy as I turned my time and attention to my new calling and preparing for my first day serving.  I am the new Primary Chorister.  These children have had such a huge turn-over the past 6 months with choristers.  Last fall the chorister suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  It took several months for another to be called and after only a few months in the call she suddenly moved.  They have had a sub for about another month or so.  They need someone who will be constant for them.  I am grateful to do that for them.  Can you imagine how awesome my b-day party will be next year?! :)  I forgot to get set apart on Sunday, but I keep reflecting on my setting apart for nursery and how Brother Merrit said, "God knows you love the gospel and that you love children."  It is so true!  It's amazing to watch how God can take the same set of core abilities and gifts of the Spirit and continue to mix and match them in miraculous ways, expand and add to them, and fill in all the details so I am able to serve Him well.  I reflect on my years of studying music and that because of the time and effort, the technicalities of music will not get in the way for me to serve in this calling.  I consider on my time teaching gospel doctrine and how I feel so at home teaching pure doctrine. 

~As I have been prayerful these past few weeks, I can already see two things He wants me to learn and pass on to these amazing children.  The first is love.  It is a continuation of what He has been teaching me in my home: to "own" my own "stuff," so I can be neutral without bringing my own stuff into situations with others.  That as I give Him my stuff, He can fill me with love and I can respond from a place of love.  As we were singing together Sunday and I looked into their bright and eager faces, I can already feel that love swelling in my heart and growing for these sweet children.  The other thing I will learn and pass on is reverence.  This must start with my own reverence, which for me includes being consistent in having quiet and uninterrupted time each day to connect with God and to tune into myself.  He has shown me clearly that I will pass this on to the children by focusing on teaching them the music rather than focusing on "entertaining" them, as may seem so tempting.  He has helped me come to understand the importance of formal time and coming with a powerful Spirit on Sunday so they can share in that and know how special Sunday is.

At the dinosaur park inside a fossil cave.  Sennika on the right, then heading farther back are Leland, then Shipton, then Gavin.

Shipton playing on the playground at the Dinosaur park.  

Mark introduced Gavin to a board game called Stratego.  He has enjoyed the strategy part of the game.

~Mother's day was a jumble of emotions.  Mark and the kids were darling and went above and beyond with gifts, breakfast and other meals, and thoughtfulness.  The Spirit also directed me in specific ways to reach out to other women who needed encouragement and gratitude on Mother's day.  I am so honored to be the mother of these beautiful children, yet it tugs at my heart with all the unknowns that have been stirred lately.  Are these our all of our children?  Are we really done?  Will adoption really happen?  These question were encapsulated in guilt because 1. we have already been blessed with more children than many of whom we are painfully aware of, so it is "greedy" for us to want more (true, but twisted and tainted with half-truth).  2.  I can't handle the children I already have I am obviously screwing them completely up (lie, but some truths that yes, I am human and yes, I have made mistakes and I am continuing to learn every day). I finally asked for a blessing Sunday night and I am grateful for the reset.  A few things he said worth mentioning: he told me to cast out these lies and allow them no place within me.  (I got on my knees and tearfully did as commanded after the blessing and could see more clearly).  He also said that when my cup is full I am a powerfully instrument for God and blessed me to be aware of myself in those times when I need to stop and care for myself.  Monday morning I was up at 5:30 and just like Sunday had all of my needs taken care of and was filled with a reserve as I greeted my waking children.  I am learning so much each day and I am grateful for a loving God who is orchestrating experiences to help me learn from day to day.  I am still so human and growing each day, He and I both have learned that I won't wander too far any more.

While in Idaho, the kids and I went to my parents' house.  Here is Shipton playing with Grandma.

Here is Shipton playing with Grandpa (and Sennika watching).

Leland making pumpkin pancakes.

Mommy holding sleeping Shipton.

Mom and Shipton at the train museum.

Leland on the left and Shipton on the right.  Shipton was mad that the cookies weren't instantly baked. :)  We were trying out our new oven.  The other one was caught on a clean/broil cycle.  A guess a couple telling things about us reflected int his recent purchase: it took team work.  I was without an oven/stove for about a week before the repair man came, told us the problem, and hit reset on it.  Thankfully it was still under warranty from purchasing the home, so we had two options.  He could either repair it or cut a check for the cost of the repair we could put towards a new one.  We took the second and continued to use it until it happened again.  At that point I was back to crock pot, microwave, and grill cooking for about a week as Mark shopped around.  Because we could pay in cash and asked for a floor model plus found one on sale, we were able to get a pretty sweet deal on it.  It is the only stainless steel appliance in the kitchen at this point, but we will continue to upgrade as we are able/need to.  That's how we roll.  We don't have credit cards.  We are completely debt free with plenty of savings.  I am grateful for a spouse who sees money in similar ways as I do.  We are both willing to make trade-offs or wait or save up and I love that about Mark.

I think because of all the Lego ninjago books he has been reading he has ninjas on his mind more than usual.  Without saying anything he found his Halloween ninja costume and has been wearing it for part of the day most days.  (This is Gavin...I mean master Gavin).

I snapped this picture of Gavin (left), Sennika, and Leland (right) playing "cavemen."  They came in for lunch as asked for "meat."

These two ask for me to read Harry Potter in any spare moment.  

After his enjoyment of the Lego ninja books from the book fair, we invested in a set of about a dozen more chapter books. His upcoming curriculum only has about 3 chapter books to read for the year.  Where Sennika reads on her own every day, I haven't had to plan anything.  It's been wonderful to watch him reading throughout the day now.

Shipton playing mouse trap with Mark.

Shipton has been climbing up to the piano lately unannounced and playing the piano.  He sings along with his own words. One day he was singing about "Jesus suffered."  I was surprised and impressed.

Another Shipton picture.  This is one of his favorite places in the house and hands down his favorite snack or eating spot.

Shipton. <3

The kids planned a soccer game.  Left to right: Gavin, Leland (behind), Shipton (front), Sennika, and Dad on the ground.  They even planned concessions and made stadium seating for Mom to cheer from.

And here is Shipton managing the "mascots" they brought out for the game.

Shipton with some of our growing sprouts for the garden.

With the weather warming up, we have been going for family walks usually 2 or so times a week.  Mark and I have enjoyed the quality time to be with the kids plus we love that they sleep in later the next morning. :)  Seems to wear them out.  The kids seem to like this special time too and look forward to our announcement of "let's go on a walk."  This family walk ended up including Frosties at Wendy's.

Shipton and Mom watching for the trains.

This family walk took us past the temple.

Dad and the kids.

Here are all four kids reading together.  Gavin had taken a favorite book and was reading it, but changing up some of the words.  They huddled like this for a good half hour.  Going clockwise and starting at "12" is Gavin, Shipton, Leland, then Sennika is leaning off the bed.

More train museum

This is a favorite part of the train museum.  They have model trains that drive through these window displays.  The kids love chasing after them and following them until they hit tunnels.